Loch Ness Monster
by LovelyTomorrow
Summary: I believe that every teenage girl feels like she is a freak at some point in the road to adulthood. I, however, am a real freak. Nessie's story. BD spoilers!
1. Freak

Loch Ness Monster

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. They are the creation and property of Stephenie Meyer. I just like to play with them.

AN: From the second Jacob imprinted on Nessie, this story started forming in my head. I really like Nessie's character (she's grown on me since I finished the book) Hope you enjoy... (btw, I've outlined the whole story, so I am going somewhere with this, promise)

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I believe that every teenage girl feels like she is a freak at some point in the road to adulthood. Probably most boys do, too. They think that because one leg is a little longer than another, or they laugh louder than their friends or have an odd shaped forehead that they are a freak.

I, however, am a real freak. In fact, I am a freak to freaks. And the fact that I am extremely pale, maintain an almost totally liquid diet, prefer running to driving my BMW, read at a college level, and keep a close, intimate relationship with my parents has very little to do with it. I'm a very singular individual--the greatest horror to most teenage girls. I'm a hybrid, living in a world of gray, not really fitting in anywhere completely.

Of course, this took some getting used to. I had to learn how to hide one part of my person around certain people. I terrified my Kindergarten teacher on my first day of public school by showing her my family playing baseball. My parents were a little upset, but I explained to them that I was simply answering her inquiry of, "What your families do for fun." Dad home-schooled me for the next few grades until I understood that no one--no one--outside of the family could be touched.

Emmett was helpfully cheerful about it and had taken to calling me "Rouge," which my mother was not pleased with. But I learned to communicate with my words instead of my hands primarily and was able to return back to public school system in time for Junior High. The trouble was, Dad had taught me much more than any of the other kids knew. It blew my mind when I got to school the first day and saw that I was enrolled in Pre-Algebra, when I had already learned Trigonometry.

It would be an understatement to say that I learned quickly. I usually only had to be told things once, and grasped concepts rather painlessly. Dad said I was an absolute pleasure to teach, but then again, he's pretty biased. I'd read hundreds of books--fiction, nonfiction, poetry, drama--anything I could get my hands on. I loved to read, much more than mathematics or science. I took after my mother that way.

I was seventeen now--er, six--but I looked seventeen, and I was in my third year in high school. I often times refer to myself as a freak, but I don't say it in a self-loathing kind of way. I do not loath myself at all. I have a very healthy outlook on life. I am a freak, but I love it.

"Hey, Loch Ness!" Justin Taylor, one of my better friends from school, smiled at me from behind the counter at 7-Eleven. My friends from school all called me that, 'Loch Ness.' None of my gigantic family were at all thrilled with the nickname, but I didn't mind it. Everyone seemed to call me something different. My parents generally stuck to my full name: 'Renesmee'. The rest of my family (with Emmett's exception) preferred 'Nessie' or 'Ren.' And Jacob called me 'Carlie', my middle name. I smiled to myself, hearing him say the name in my head. He hadn't started using it until 'Nessie' stuck for everyone else. He wanted to be different. I loved the way he said it, with his strong, husky voice. It was the most calming, reassuring sound in the world.

"Hey, Justin," I came up to the counter and leaned in toward him a little bit. "How's it going?" He was a cute guy with sandy blonde hair, light brown eyes and glasses.

He shrugged, "Slow day. No one wants any Twinkies. It's sad."

I gave a little chuckle, "Damn healthy Americans."

"I blame the biased media," he pointed a finger up with a mock concerned expression.

Still smiling, I drummed by hands on the counter, "Did you start reading _Persepolis_, yet?"

"Nah," he shook his head. "It has pictures. I refuse to read it."

_Persepolis _was a graphic novel about a young girl's experience with the Islamic Revolution. It was probably a heart-wrenching story, but I could not seem to get over the idea that I was being patronized by the administration. Most of the kids in mine and Justin's AP English class agreed. Some were boycotting the book. "Don't be uselessly rebellious. Maybe they're just trying to open our minds to something new."

"Comic books aren't new, Loch Ness," he narrowed his eyes.

"They're new to the academic machine, Justin," I pointed to him. "Well, whatever, I'm, like, four pages in, so I guess I shouldn't talk."

"Eh," he shrugged, "You can read it this weekend."

"Well..." I but my lip and ran a hand through my auburn hair.

"Oh, no!" he smiled. "That's right. You have your South American boyfriend visiting this weekend, don't you?"

"He's not my boyfriend," I told him for the millionth time. "But, yes, Nahuel will be visiting the family for a little while."

Nahuel had been a friend of the family since I was really little. He visited sporadically but was always so sweet to me when he did. He was unbearably gorgeous with a smile that made me giggle like a toddler. He was the only other freak amongst freaks besides myself that I'd met, but he was much more self-loathing than I could ever stand to be. However, I could not help but find the brooding a little intriguing. Plus, I had caught him on more than one occasion, staring at me from across a room.

"Carlie," Jacob had to open and close the door slowly so he did not accidentally rip it off it's hinges. He was breathing heavily, but smiling. "There ya are."

"Hey, Jake," I smiled and saw Justin straighten up, uncomfortably. My friends from school were all a little put off by Jake. I guess it wasn't as crazy as it seemed to me. He was almost seven feet tall with muscles for days and a distinct bodyguard type of personality. But to me, he was the kindest person I'd ever known. He was more than just a mere best friend, more than a brother or a boyfriend. It was like he was an extension of me, someone who always understood me, always supported me, always loved me. I felt undeniably blessed to have Jacob in my life. "You wanna grab some crap?" I turned to him.

"Sure, sure," he nodded, then cast a look to Justin that was only slightly more than dismissive, "Hey."

"Hi," Justin barely whispered back and moved away from the counter.

"See ya around, Justin," I smirked to him as Jake moved to my other side and held his arm out for me like an nineteenth century gentleman. I looped my arm through his and leaned into him, utterly comfortable.

We moved into the aisles too slowly, as Jake had a hard time gauging how slow humans found acceptable, and once we were out of Justin's sight, Jake turned to me, realizing my arm, a huge smile on his face, "I got you, little girl."

"I stopped running," I shook my head. "You didn't get anything."

"You didn't say anything about pit stops, Carlie. I caught you, fair and square," he brought his face close to mine, youthfully arrogant.

"Think what you want, pup," I shrugged playfully turning away from him, and he wrapped his arms around my waist and let out the tiniest growl into my ear.

Jacob and I had always been rather 'touchy-feely' with each other. There was nothing romantic or sexual in it, but we always found a way to be close to one another. It was comforting, in a way, especially with me not being able to touch most people I came in contact with.

I put my hand on top of his to send him a picture of Nahuel. "You think he likes Twinkies?"

"Stranger things have happened," he chuckled as we imagined together the South American God devouring the classic American snack food.

"I'm nervous," I whispered.

He shook his head, "You have absolutely no reason to be. Nahuel's nuts about you."

"Liar," I wrinkled my nose at him and continued moving through the aisles, wondering what kind of chip he might eat. Jake and I had been assigned the job of food shopping for Nahuel's visit, as we were the only members of the immediate family who could even consider eating human food.

I had never been all that fond of human food. It wasn't that it tasted horrible, it just was not nearly as good as my other options. Nahuel, though, had been raised on both of them, and, therefore, was more used to solid food options.

"Hey," Jake grabbed two different bags of chips, "You know I'd never lie to you." He smiled, "You know, if it was something really important." I jabbed him gently in the ribs.

"I just don't know what he could possibly see in me besides this crazy spaz who used to be kind of interesting when it was a miracle she could read Dr. Seuss," I handed him a box of cookies.

"Hey now, you never read Dr. Seuss. You could not be bothered with Dr. Seuss. You read Tennyson and Hemingway. You had a more impressive vocabulary than me," he shrugged. "Not that that's changed--"

"Jake?" I smirked at him. "Kind of not the point?"

"Right, the point," he smiled and picked up two bottles of soda, his arms starting to look a little full. "The point is that you are brilliant and stunning and funny and kind, and any guy would be lucky to have you."

"Thanks, Jake," I sighed. "You think we have enough?"

He thought for a moment, before grabbing a bag of pretzels and Fritos, then smiled at me, "We do now."

I paid for the stuff with my credit card, which Justin would have mocked if Jacob had not been there. My friends seemed to find it endlessly hilarious that my family was rich. None of them had ever been to our palatial mansion, and I had a habit of shopping at thrift stores, which made Alice cringe, so I guess they forgot I had money. I signed my name on the receipt and took our bags.

"See ya, Justin," I threw over my shoulder as Jacob took my arm and led me out of the store.

"See ya," I heard him call. "Have fun!"

Jacob held me close and lead me casually behind the store. "So that's Justin?" he said the name like it was some kind of fatal illness.

"Jake," I smiled. "You've met him at least a dozen times."

He rolled his eyes, "But never in the context of your potential prom date."

I groaned. We were half through my Junior year, which meant tickets for Junior Prom would be going on sale soon, which meant my family was eagerly asking who I would be bringing. I had given them Justin's name as a mere possibility.

"Don't give me that face. Prom's a big deal, Carlie," he stopped walking and gave me back my arm. We were totally hidden behind the store.

"It's not," I shook my head. "It's a ridiculous, unnecessary formal designed to further the stigma that those with money and beauty are more worthwhile people than those without. It's terrible." I didn't really realize I was pacing until he reached out and stopped me with a smile on his face.

"I swear, you get more and more like your mother everyday," he chuckled.

"Ugh!" I pushed his hands off me, "You sound like Dad."

"Hey, when he's right; he's right," he shrugged.

"Uh huh; will you hurry up and take your clothes off already? I could be home by now," I crossed my arms over my chest.

He laughed, "Sure you could, bite size. Now, turn around. You don't get a free show."

I rolled my eyes and turned around. Behind the 7-Eleven was a huge forest in which Jake and I were accustom to hunting. It was a short run back to the house.

He nudged my back with his nose once he had phased, and I turned around. I was very used to seeing Jake in wolf form. Sometimes he stayed that way for days at a time if he needed to be in contact with the pack.

I gave him a quick pat on the muzzle, then bent down to pick up his clothes with my free hand. He knelt down, and I climbed on, gripping his russet fur lightly.

I shook my head, "Someone's gonna need to groom you, Jacob. You're mangy." He threw his head up and barked, defiantly cocky. I laughed, and began running my hands through his fur, combing it as best as I could. "C'mon, let's get home. We've got half-breeds to impress." He made a sound of approval and took off running through the woods.

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AN: Please let me know what you think! It will give you excellent karma!

(20 points if u recognize the name Justin Taylor from somewhere else!)


	2. Open Mind

AN: Took a little while for this update, I know. I just moved into a dorm, so I'm getting used to classes and writing in a dorm and it's just a whole new thing. Hope you like chapter two...

"I'm hideous," I nodded to my reflection in the full-length mirror in my bedroom. "I'm just completely hideous."

"Well, that's just not true at all," Alice giggled behind me, lying on her side on my bed.

"Alice," I sighed, turning around. "He's going to be here in a few hours, and I look like a washed out mouse with weeds for hair."

She smiled and shook her head, "You look beautiful, Nessie. You always do."

"You're not helpful!" I threw my arms up and fell next to her on the bed.

"So dramatic," she mumbled, sitting up.

"Alice," I sighed, staring at the light blue ceiling. "What if he doesn't like me?"

"He does," she shrugged. "But if he doesn't then…then he doesn't. I don't see why you're making this such a big deal."

"The last time he saw me, I was fifteen," I sat up. Actually, I had been five—it was a year ago. "I was too young for him to have any kind of, you know, romantic feelings…"

"And now that you're six it's okay?" she smiled.

"I'll be done growing in six months, Alice," I crossed my arms across my chest. "And, yes, now it is okay. In fact, it's more than okay. It's…expected." She rolled her eyes and stood up, moving over to the mirror to look at herself. "If it's going to happen; it's going to happen this visit."

"Ren," she adjusted her shirt. "Maybe you shouldn't put so much stress on Nahuel. There are other guys in the world."

"No one like Nahuel," I sighed.

She tilted her head to the side, "Not exactly, no. But there are other guys…guys who really, really like you, who would do anything for you."

"Of course there are," I rolled my eyes.

"Rouge," Emmett smiled and stopped at my door. "Your father wants to see you."

I flopped back down on the bed, "He can wait. I'm having a crisis at the moment."

Alice laughed and shook her head, "Go talk to him. He'll distract you."

I sighed and sat up. "Did he say what he wants?" I asked Emmett.

"Not to me," he shrugged. "Maybe he wants to tell you about the birds and the bees." I shuddered as he winked, then laughed and walked away.

"Nessie," Alice was smiling. "Go. Take your mind off things. He's in the woods."

I'd always been close to my father. As my family tried to get me used to sharing my thoughts verbally, he quickly became the only one who still knew what I was thinking.

I guess that also sounds like a nightmare to most teenage girls—to have your father have total access to your thoughts—but he had been around teenage girls for more than a century, so he was really more understanding than intrusive, giving me privacy and staying out whenever he felt his presence was inappropriate.

"I'm having a heart attack," I sighed after I found him sitting against a tree in the forest behind our house.

"That seems fairly unlikely," he smiled.

"Really," I sat next to him. "The suspense is killing me. What was so important that it couldn't wait?"

He laughed gently. The few of my friends who had met my father did not know him as such. Seeing as we both looked seventeen—though he was much older, and I was much younger—it would be impossible to explain without interference from the Volturi. To avoid that, my parents were introduced as my siblings, along with my aunts and uncles. Jacob was the only member of the family who refused the "adopted" story and told people he was a foreign exchange student from exotic Canada.

I didn't mind having parents the same age as me until people began to tell me how attractive they were and asking about their likes and dislikes and trying to get me to set them up. After a few weeks of that, it was decided that they would no longer metriculate in the same high school as me, which was no problem as it was a very acceptable story that they chose to attend a private high school. Most people found them a little snobby and standoffish.

"It isn't all that important," he shrugged. "I suppose it could wait if you have something else to do."

"No," I shook my head. "It'll distract me. What's up?"

"Well," he reached behind him. "I just picked this up, and I thought you might like to see it." He pulled something rectangular from behind his back. It was a book.

I narrowed my eyes and took it from him slowly, examining the cover. On it was a young woman in a window with her face in her hands. Above the picture were neatly printed words:

The Norton Anthology of Short Stories: Eight Edition

"Oh!" I gasped, bringing the volume to my chest. "Dad! Oh, my God! The eight edition?!" I shook my head, "This isn't even out yet! How'd you get this?!"

"You like it?" he beamed.

I stopped and raised an eyebrow, "You didn't steal this, did you?"

He chuckled, "Of course not. I just have a friend in publishing who owed me a favor. I could think of no better way to use it."

I sighed at my new book with awe and wished I could read it right away. "Thank you," I whispered.

"You're very welcome," he said. "What's stopping you from reading it?"

I looked up at him with a little smile—as if he didn't know. "We have company coming today. "

"Nahuel's an old friend of the family, Renesmee," he shrugged. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you—"

"Dad," I groaned. "I sort of want to be present for his visit. I've sort of been anticipating it for weeks."

"I know, " he grumbled. "It's made you a nervous wreck." He shook his head, "I wish you wouldn't put so much pressure on yourself. You've somehow convinced yourself that Nahuel is your only option." I sighed, having nothing to say to that. My father, as understanding as he was, held a fairly steady mantra about me and members of the opposite sex. "I just wish you would keep your mind open—"

"Mind open," I finished with him. "Yes, I do recall you mentioning that before."

"Well, you've never listened," he smiled. "Totally inflexible. Just like your mother."

I rolled my eyes. We'd had this discussion before. Next, I was to mention how being stubborn had worked out for my mother in the end. Then, he was to remind me of all the sacrifices she had to make. Then, I was to say how sacrifices did not matter when one valued the reward higher than the risk, etc., etc. I did not feel like having that conversation just hours before Nahuel arrived.

"I just don't see," I bit my lip. "Why are you all so dead set against Nahuel? What's so horrible about him? Do you all know something I don't?" The entire family had been sending me little hints recently that I should not limit myself to one romantic partner. They'd do little things. Emmett had pretended to forget his name. Carlisle had nonchalantly brought up the uncomfortable gap between our ages. And most recently, my mother had warned me to focus on what I really wanted. She'd said, "It's very possible to be totally in love already and not know it. Trust me. Just keep an open mind."

He just laughed, "Of course not. It's just that you're still very young, and it's difficult for us to imagine you with a life mate." He twitched the slightest bit, uncomfortable with his own wording.

I let out a little chuckle. _Mate,_ reminding me of Emmett's idea about what my father had wanted to discuss with me.

"Yes," he shook his head. "I'll have to talk to him about that later."

"Oh, don't bother," I shrugged. "It was funny."

"Hmm," he glowered. "If you say so."

"I say so," I smiled and inhaled deeply, taking in the smell of the woods. It was so peaceful there. I could smell a group of deer grazing a few hundred feet away, but I wasn't thirsty. They were pretty brave coming so close to the household of vampires. I closed my eyes. The concept of bravery triggered an image in my head.

"She's with Grandpa," he answered my unasked question.

I shook my head solemnly. Grandpa was sick. Prostate cancer. It wasn't anything serious, according to Carlisle, but Mom was not taking any chances. She made the hour trip back to Forks frequently to check up on him and Sue and even the Quileutes if she had the time.

We'd moved right before I started middle school to Aberdeen, as no one wanted to move too far away from Forks. It was far enough that no one had heard of the infamous Cullen family or the more infamous Isabella Swan, who had vanished from Forks after her wedding with some horrible disease, never to be heard from again.

"How is he?" I asked meekly, unsure if I really wanted to know.

"Alice says he'll be fine, though, of course, she's not sure how long it will take for him to get there. But they found it early, there shouldn't be any problems getting it out."

I nodded absently. Illness terrified me, as did age, though neither frightened me more than death. In that way, I suppose, I was somewhat normal. However, I feared them for different reasons than most. I feared them, because I could not stop them from hurting the people who I grew close to. It was a morbid worry that I kept constantly in the back of my mind whenever I met a new human friend. Will I become good friends with them? Will I sit at their funeral?

It was a terrible thought, I knew, so I tried to focus more on my inhuman friendships. I would never have to witness the death of either of my parents, never watch as Jacob deteriorated before my eyes, never stand by helplessly as Nahuel lost his life.

"Don't worry," Dad smirked. "She'll be home soon. She doesn't want to miss Nahuel, either."

I smiled lightly. There was no need to focus on such depressing things. There was nothing I could do about them. "I should help set up," I sighed.

"Alice will do it," he shook his head.

"But I—"

"Nessie," he held a hand up. "Don't worry about it. Everything will be fine."

"I'm just so horrible at waiting. I have no patience," I shook my head.

"Sounds familiar," he smiled.

I traced the figure on the cover of my new book. She looked so heartbroken, so beaten. It made me want to read her story. I thought vaguely about _Persepolis_.

Dad shook his head, "This is better."

I laughed, "Isn't it your fatherly responsibility to ensure that I read what is required first?"

He laughed with me, "I suppose it is. But I refuse to lie to you. You'll enjoy this more." He indicated my new Norton. "Could I fulfill my fatherly responsibility by reading the comic book for you?"

"I don't think that's how it works," I narrowed my eyes.

He paused for a moment, looking out into space. "Well, then, how about I just tell you that you are an amazing daughter, a phenomenal person, and that anyone who gets the chance to know you is among the luckiest on earth." He smiled, "Does that make me a good father?"

"No," I shook my head, trying to keep a straight face, and then threw my arms around him. "It makes you the greatest father in the world."

He laughed and kissed my temple, "Whew." When I pulled back, he narrowed his eyes, "So, did I succeed in distracting you?"

"For a while you did, yeah," I nodded, happily. At least I was a few minutes closer to Nahuel's arrival. "Now, I just need to find something else to distract me until he actually gets here."

"Well," he smirked. "I don't actually think that will be needed."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He smiled, "Nahuel's just arrived."

AN: Hope you guys liked it. I know there were some complaints about a lack of Edward/Renesmee time in BD, so hopefully some of you appreciated this. I'm a daddy's girl, no question, so I totally understood the complaint.

Please, review. It'll make you grow up big and strong!

P.S. I read _Persepolis_. It was really interesting. I recommend it if your fathers can't get you early editions of the Norton Anthology of your choosing.


	3. Forgiveness

AN: Hey, two days, two updates! But don't get used to it. I really do have to do homework at some point in the next four years…

Enjoy…

Nahuel was even more handsome than I'd remembered him. His eyes were so piercing, and his jaw was so strong. He had cut his hair considerably since I'd last seen him. It came only to his jaw-line now, and framed his face perfectly.

For hours, we all sat at the kitchen table, discussing events of the past. I was generally quiet, unless spoken to directly. Nahuel didn't seem to notice too much. He told everyone of his mother, Huilen, and how she regretted not being able to visit. She was on some kind of archeological dig, a hobby of hers. My parents spoke endlessly about how quickly I was growing and what an accomplish musician I was and how _funny_ it had been when I had been accused of anorexia and Carlisle and Esme had to come in to school to convince the school nurse that I was fine.

Eventually, I had had enough and excused myself. Jacob looked concerned, but I told him to stay and relax. There was no need to ruin his evening just because mine was lying in shards on the floor.

We had a fairly elaborate deck in the backyard of the house. It was lined with stone and held a Jacuzzi and pool. Esme's garden was on the opposite end by a few chairs. I often came out there to read or draw. Rarely, was it for escape.

I was angry with myself for acting like a child. Children run away from the things that they dislike. Adults turn the situation. They laugh and smile and maneuver the situation to one with which they are more comfortable. I didn't know how to do that though. I knew how to hide.

"Excuse me," his voice pulled me out of my shame spiral. I turned instinctively, back towards the door I'd come from. Nahuel.

"Hello," I said, smiling stupidly.

"Hello," he smiled too, though it was so much subtler—more in his eyes than anything else. "Would you mind if I joined you?"

"Uh," I shrugged, trying to contain my excitement. "No, not at all."

He nodded once and stepped closer to me, "It's a very nice sanctuary you have out here. Did you plant these?" he indicated the violet flowers nearest me.

"No," I said. "Esme planted them. She—she likes to…" I shrugged, feeling ridiculous. "…Garden."

He nodded and sat across from me, "I'll have to compliment her on them later."

"O—okay," I mumbled, and then winced as an awkward silence hovered between us.

"So," he smirked, "You left in quite a hurry back there. Stories getting to be too much?"

"I guess," I ran a hand through my hair. "They, uh, my parents just don't seem to know when enough is enough."

"They're just impressed by you, is all," he said. "They like to brag."

"Bragging, really, is that what they were doing?" I sneered. "It felt more like their own, special brand of humiliation."

He chuckled, a magical sound. I breathed in, trying to calm myself. "So, Nessie, what have you been up to this past year? The, uh, non-humiliating version."

I laughed lightly, "Uh, well…I've read a lot, and, uh, I don't know. My life's not all that interesting."

"Oh, I'm sure that's not true. Aren't you still going to school?" he asked.

"Yes," I answered shyly.

"Well, I'd love to hear about that. I never had the chance to attend a traditional high school. Huilen taught me everything she thought I should know. Why don't you tell me about high school? Do you have any friends?"

If the question had come from anyone else, it would be offensive. "Yes, I have friends."

"And do they know about…you?" he asked, smirking.

"No," I shook my head. "No, they just think I'm kind of pale." I shrugged, and he laughed.

"What about boys?"

I paused a moment. I did not like that word—boys. If he considered me the target of boys, didn't that mean that I was a 'girl'? _Ugh_. "Uh, some, yeah, but…I'm not really…"

"Interested?" he finished for me.

"Yeah," I nodded. "They're just a little too—I know it sounds ironic, but—I just feel like they're very young."

"How so?" he leaned towards me, fascinated, like I was some specimen to be studied.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "They have a tendency to say things, because they think they're supposed to. They don't say what they really mean."

"How frustrating," he smiled.

"I guess."

"How about girlfriends?" he nodded once, assuming it to be a happier topic.

"Eh," I bit my lip, "There are some. Girls don't seem to like me too much, though."

"What do you mean?" he narrowed his eyes.

I tilted my head, remembering a story from the last year. "Well, there was this girl, Kaylee, and we were sort of friends. And, apparently, she really wanted to go out with this other kid, Simon, and, I don't know…I thought I would try and help her out, so I talked to him about her and he…"

"He wasn't interested?"

"Well, there was that, but, it turned out, he…he favored me, and, of course, I told him that I wouldn't do that to Kaylee, but…"

"She was upset with you for that?" he seemed perplexed.

"She was just upset. I know it wasn't really directed at me." His forehead was creased with confusion. "She lashed out to soften the blow. You know, it wasn't that he rejected her; it was that I was a tramp. See how that's easier to believe?"

"No," he said. "Who would believe a thing like that?" He seemed to be getting rather upset.

"Uh," I shrugged. "I don't know, but it's really not a big deal, just…high school politics, I guess."

"You forgave her?" He was shocked.

"Well, uh, yeah, I guess I did," I tried a shy smile.

He was quiet for a long moment, but he did not look away from me. "You must tell me how you do that," he said, finally.

I shook my head, "Do what?"

"Forgive so easily," he sighed, in awe. "You forgive so much, not just in this schoolgirl, but so much more. I've never met anyone who forgives so much."

"Oh," I blushed. "Well…I just feel like you should be kind to people when they mess up, so that, when you mess up…and you will mess up," a smile pulled at the corners of my mouth. "You'll have someone there to be kind to you."

He shook his head, impressed, "And who taught you that?"

I swelled with pride, "No one taught me." I looked right into his eyes and felt a certain sense of comfort that had not previously been there. "I just…I think it makes sense."

"Incredible," he breathed.

"Thank you," I leaned into him.

Our faces were very close. His breath was warm on my face, "You're parents did have something right."

I laughed softly, "Yeah? What's that?"

"You are stunningly beautiful," he smiled.

_Ah!_ I almost screamed. He brought a hand up and traced my cheek with his finger. It felt dangerously wonderful, and I leaned into his touch, closing my eyes. "Carlie," a whisper.

I opened my eyes at once, but it was too late. Nahuel's lips were on mine. I sucked in my breath instantly, without thinking. _Carlie_? Did he just call me Carlie? I was upset by it, though I didn't exactly know why. It wasn't as if Jacob had a patent on it, and I did go by many nicknames. Maybe he'd heard it from Jake and thought everyone called me that.

He moaned, and I jumped out of my train of thought, remembering that someone was kissing me. I closed my eyes again, and tried to put the name out of my mind. His hand traveled from my cheek to my hair, holding me close to him. It felt good. It all felt good. I smiled against his mouth, and he pulled away but kept his face close to mine. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm too instinctual, not at all controlled. I just…wanted…I'm sorry."

I smiled coyly, "I forgive you," and pulled him in for another kiss.

I had not slept so well in a very long time. I was dreamless, motionless, and effortless. Nahuel had kissed me. Kissed _me_! I felt like flying or soaring or running at the very least. Maybe Nahuel would be interested in going with me for a morning hunt. Oh, who was I kidding, of course he would be! He liked me! He'd kissed me!

"Nessie," Alice stood at the top of the stairs, the most terrible look of sorrow on her tiny face.

"Alice, what's wrong?" I shook my head, taking her hands.

"I couldn't see, honey. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have let you think…I'm just…I'm really sorry," she nodded.

Instantly, I thought of Grandpa and tears came to my eyes. "Alice, what? Is he okay? What happened?"

"Grandpa's fine, Renesmee," Mom came up the stairs to meet us. "It's something else."

"What?" I demanded.

"Bring her down, Bella," Dad sounded angry.

I didn't wait for her to bring me. I pounded down the stairs as fast as I could and found the entire family standing around Nahuel and…who…?

"Morning, Carlie," Jake had the most pained expression on his face. It made me want to cry.

"What's going on?" There was a woman standing beside Nahuel. She was a vampire. Tall, lean, blonde—in fact, she looked very similar to Rosalie, accept for the bright red eyes. She was a newborn? What was a newborn doing here?

Nahuel scanned the faces of my family, ending with my father's. He shook his head, "Absolutely not. This is for you to do."

"Renesmee," Nahuel sighed; he was unable to look me in the eye. "This is Carla." I swallowed hard, terrified of this woman before me. "My wife."

Dun dun dunnnnn!

AN: Oh! There were a few people who thought they had some idea about who Justin Taylor was, and it's very possible that they're right. However, I was referring to Justin Taylor from the cancelled kid's show 100 Deeds for Eddie McDowd. I used to watch it when I was little. So, there ya go.

I'm really tempted to write the next chapter, so updates may come faster than I'm used to, but…I also have a ton of reading to do…so, I guess updates depend on how many reviews I get…


	4. Privilege

AN: Next chapter! Thanks for the great reviews. They really make my day.

Enjoy…

"Married!" I was screaming at the top of my lungs. "Married?!"

"It's not what you think, Nessie," Nahuel was leaning against my doorframe. "Just let me explain."

I had run up to my room after hearing that word—that horrible word! Wife! His wife! He was married!

"There is nothing to explain! You have a wife! You are married! You really need to get out of my house!" I shrieked. He had come running after me.

"I didn't want to marry her, Nessie! It was an accident!" he shrugged.

"An accident?! An accident?!" I pounded toward him. "That doesn't even make sense, Nahuel. People do not get married accidently…" I paused. "Especially people who can't even get drunk! It just doesn't happen!"

"No, I didn't mean that. I didn't marry her accidentally. I…I bit her," he admitted, letting his head fall.

That quieted me. "You what?"

"I bit her…that was the accidental part. I..I was seeing her for a while and when things started to get…intimate…I couldn't take it and I…" I shuddered, but did not interrupt. "And then she started changing, and my mother said that I had to…that it would be the right thing to do."

I thought I might be sick. It made a little sense. His wife was a newborn. It was at least plausible.

"I…I'm not in love with her, Nessie. I barely even know her, but, she's very possessive. I've hardly even seen another girl in—"

"God," I sneered. "You're not really going to tell me that this is her fault."

"Well, she treats this like I really am married to her," he shrugged.

"You are!" I yelled at him.

"Yeah, but…but I don't want to be!"

"Nahuel," I sighed. "I don't know what the hell you thought I would…I mean…I can't…" I couldn't find the words. I had held this man in such high regard. I had assumed he could do no wrong. I stared at him, cowering at my door—begging, sniveling—so small. "You have to leave, Nahuel. I would appreciate it if you didn't try and contact me again. I hope you and your wife have a very happy life together." I felt tears form at the back of my throat, but I was determined not to let them fall.

"Renesmee," he crooned. "Don't be like that. I really care about you. You—you're so beautiful and kind…"

"Stop it," I demanded, unsure of my own determination. "Get out of my house."

"Carlie," he whispered. "Listen to me."

"No!" I shouted. That was it. I was livid. "You will take your wife and get out of my room and my house and my life! I never want to see you again."

"But—"

"And don't you call me Carlie one more time. That's not a privilege you've earned," I said, putting a slightly tougher edge into my voice. I like the way it made me feel.

"Fine, then," he snarled, and turned away.

I listened for a few moments, until I heard Nahuel and Carla leave, then I felt my whole body fall. The tears came out like a flood, and I let my head fall into my hands as my legs gave out under me.

I'd never been in so much pain. I'd never let myself fall so hard for anyone. I hated it. There was an ache in my chest that felt like a hand pushing me down. I was miserable.

"Carlie," Jacob whispered by the door and bent down to hold me. "Shh, shh. I know, Carlie. I know. It's okay." His arms were wrapped around me tightly as I continued to cry.

"How could I be so stupid?" I blubbered into his shoulder.

"You're not stupid," he shook his head. "There was no way you could know."

"He kissed me, Jacob! He kissed me, and he said I was pretty, and he…" I bawled.

"I know, baby. I know," he reached over and took one of my hands and placed it on his cheek. It was an easier way for me to communicate. I showed his everything that had happened last night and what had just happened this morning. I showed him how happy I had been at the thought of him liking me. I showed him my very real doubt that anyone else could possibly be right for me. "No," he crooned. "That's certainly not true. There are a million guys out there, ladybug." I smiled slightly, but reminded him that Nahuel was the only other freak like me. "Well, don't limit yourself like that, Carlie. Look at your parents. If your dad had only let himself see other vampires, you might not be here."

I sniffled and picked my head up, feeling a little bit better. "I guess that's true," I conceded, taking my hand back.

"Of course it is," he shrugged. "I said it." I reached over to my bed and threw a pillow at him. He caught it without flinching and chuckled. "You feel better, little girl?"

I took a deep breath and wiped my tears away, "Yeah, I guess so. You really think there's someone else out there for me, Jake? I mean, do you believe in that? That idea that there really is only one person who's right for you?"

"I believe it," he said, smiling. "And I know you'll find him."

I smiled a little, "Wish I could be so sure."

"Oh, don't worry about it. You've got plenty of time," he said. "Hey, how about we go hunting? Bring your spirits up a bit?"

I sighed, "I don't know, Jake. I've got a lot of reading to do."

"Aw, come on," he urged. "We'll make it a short trip. Bag a few grazing deer, maybe a rowdy bear or two, then we'll be right back." I narrowed my eyes, considering. "Come on, Renesmee. Come kill things with me."

"Ah!" I pushed him away playfully. "That's terrible!"

"C'mon, girly," he smiled. "Are the cool kids are doing it."

I laughed with him, "Okay, then, fine. But if I don't get this reading done, you get to explain it to my teachers."

"Yes, ma'am," he nodded once, mockingly dutiful.

"C'mon, loser," I nudged his shoulder as I ran out of the room.

"Be careful," I barely heard my mother call after me. Once I was out in the woods, nothing could reach me. I was only vaguely aware of Jacob running next to me, now in his wolf form. Our footsteps were so light; a human could not hear them. Even with my enhanced hearing, they were scarcely audible.

There was a certain comfort in having Jacob there as I hunted. For some reason, I felt the need to have a guy around at that particular time. I needed to balance it out in my head that I had not caused the situation I was currently in, and having another guy around seemed to be proof in a way.

And as crazy as that sounded to me, it seemed like Jacob understood it. Jacob always seemed to understand me, even when I didn't understand myself.

...

AN: Next chapter, we get to see our Nessie at school, and she's not having the greatest day…

Review! (Because if you don't, I'll threaten you idly)


	5. Of A Monstrous Freak

AN: Here's the next one, everybody. Thanks so much for the reviews. I'm going to try to respond to them now, so if you have any questions/suggestions, let me know!

Enjoy…

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"What we call monsters are not so by God, who sees in the immen…immentity—"

"Immensity," I demanded. My voice resonated louder than I'd meant it to, and a few students in class turned to look at me. Alyssa Caldwell, the girl who was reading, did not react at all.

"…Of his work," she continued, ignorant of her mispronunciation. "The infinity of forms that he has comprised in it." She had made comprised rhyme with breezed, but I had held my tongue. She babbled on, reading from as essay by Montaigne about a child with a deformity. _A child like _me, I thought darkly, instantly grateful that Dad no longer went to school with me.

I was having a bad day.

The weekend had been fine after my hunt with Jacob. Everyone was sympathetic, and no one brought up Nahuel or our moment of romance—my first kiss—my hope to fall in love with him. It was a subject everyone respected as unmentionable.

School was a different story. I hadn't even sat down in homeroom before my friend Margaret asked about Nahuel and my weekend. Luckily, I was able to dodge her question with the excuse that I needed to finish reading before class started, but I promised to tell her later. Then, in my first period class, the boy who sat next to me asked harmlessly about my weekend. I had just shrugged and asked about his. Lunch was terrible. Justin was all questions, and the rest of my friends were eager to hear what had happened. The whole time, I was cursing my juvenile excitement. Had I really needed to tell all those people about him? Could I really not have shown any type of restraint?

"I don't get it, Loch Ness. I thought you'd be bursting to tell us," Justin smiled kindly, nudging me in the shoulder.

"I just…" I looked down at the table in front of me. "It wasn't all that I'd thought it would be, that's all."

Emily, a girl I knew from my art class, sighed, "I told you your expectations were too high. No guy is that amazing."

"_I'm_ that amazing," Scott, a friend I'd met through Justin smiling arrogantly, trying to lighten the mood. I had been carrying a storm cloud above my head all day; the attempt was appreciated.

"I don't think she needs an, 'I told you so' right now, you cynical bitch, you," Emily's best friend, Melanie, said somewhat jokingly.

"Just tell us what happened," Justin shrugged. "We won't judge you. We're your friends. Maybe it'll even help."

My cheeks were hot from the combined embarrassment and frustration. "I…" I sighed. "The guy…Nahuel…he wasn't as available as I'd thought he was." The words were barely out of my mouth when I picked up my thermos (which I claimed to be filled with soup) and took a long, full drink, then I placed it down with too much force, making a loud thump as it hit the table. "So, there ya go. That's what happened. You're right, Emily, no guy is that amazing."

"Hey," Scott pretended to be insulted. "On behalf of my gender, I am offended."

"So sorry," I rolled my eyes.

"Sorry, Loch Ness," Justin shook his head. "That sucks."

"Yeah," I said.

"But you know, not all guys are like that. I mean, we're not all South American gods, either, but…most of us…we're good people," he nodded.

I let out a little, gentle laugh, "Let's hope so."

Now, I was in my English class, which I had been dreading all day. It was true, I had Justin with me, but there was also Hillary, the sickeningly sweet gossip of the school, who demanded she know everything about everyone. She kept sending me notes, asking me what had happened, and I kept crumbling them up and throwing them on the floor. It was getting unbelievably frustrating. I thought about getting up to slap her, but I honestly did not believe that that would stop her.

"Let this universal and natural reason drive out of us the error and astonishment that novelty brings us," Alyssa finally finished, thankfully without another mangling of the English language, and I was crumbling the forth note from Hilary. This one had read, _Seriously, I won't tell anyone. I'm just curious. What's up?_ Justin had leaned over and smiled, shaking his head. At least someone was enjoying himself.

"All right," Mr. Klier nodded as Alyssa concluded. "Very nice, Alyssa." I rolled my eyes. "So, what can we take away from what Montaigne? What do you think he's trying to tell us?"

The room was silent. Years of academia had drawn any creative juices out of us. We responded best to yes or no questions. We liked to fill in tiny bubbles.

"Nothing?" he sighed, helpless. I felt bad for him and thought about raising my hand to comment until Justin delivered another folded piece of paper from Hillary. I angrily opened it. _All right, fine then. I guess he just dumped u. Prob b/c u don't have n e idea how 2 interact wit other people. Freak._

Tears sprang to my eyes without warning. I was too angry to let them fall, but I acknowledged their presence. "Geez," Justin shook his head, reading over my shoulder. "What the hell's up her ass?"

Freak. Freak, freak, freak. It was my word. I used it with pride. I was a freak; I knew that. But, somehow, in this context, it was so extremely hurtful. I stared at the essay in front of me. "Of A Monstrous Child," was the title. I stared at it for a long time, thinking of what it would look like if I were to cross out "Child" and replace it with "Freak." It would loose some irony, I supposed. People expected freaks to be monstrous. It was a bit stranger with 'Child.'

"You okay, Loch Ness?" Justin whispered when I hadn't moved in a few minutes.

"Nessie," I said a bit wistfully, too low for him to hear. "Monster."

"You should say something back to her," he told me. "I mean, not telling her what happened, but…you know, tell her that's not cool."

"Yeah?" I sneered, staring at the note. "Can I use your pen?"

"Sure," he happily handed it over.

I tore the corner of my notebook out and scribbled a note to Hillary on it. It was cruel and, in many ways, below me. I wasn't exactly proud of it, but it felt good to fold over and hand it to Justin, who smugly handed it to Hillary.

"Miss Cullen," Mr. Klier was still desperate for an intellectual discussion of the reading. "You must have some kind of opinion of Montaigne's work. What do you think?"

"Well, he makes an interesting point. If God accepts 'monsters' with physical deformities, does He then also accept those with mental deformities? Rapists? Murderers? Sadists? It would seem like he's saying God made them that way. I'm not sure if that idea is as accepted by society as a man having sympathy for Siamese twins," I said, confidently. Mr. Klier smiled; I was rather dependable in the classroom.

"Oh, my God!" came the startled shriek from the other side of the room.

"Yes, it's an interesting point," Mr. Klier turned toward the sound, excited by another student's apparent reaction.

Justin and I turned too, only we were not so excited. The scream had come from Jillian Greenburg, the girl who sat next to Hillary. "Ugh," I groaned.

Justin was smiling, "What did you write?"

I just shrugged as I watched the two girls fussing over the note. "Mr. Klier, you need to see this," Hillary shook her dainty blonde curls. They were pinned up in a high ponytail and made her look like a doll. "It's heinous."

"What is?" Mr. Klier moved over to Hillary's desk, and she extended the note to him. I cringed, waiting for the backlash. "Well," he sighed, unhappily. "Renesmee, you will see me after class."

I felt horrible. I liked Mr. Klier; he was open-minded and unafraid to challenge and be challenged in the classroom. He treated me like an adult, and I had proved myself to be a child. "Okay," I barely whispered.

Justin shook his head, "But, Mr. Klier, you don't—"

"Would you like to stay too, Mr. Taylor?" he asked, now angry.

"Don't be a hero, Justin. It's okay," I whispered.

"No, sorry," he shrugged, clearly not sorry at all.

"Right," Mr. Klier shook his head. "Well, I guess it wouldn't do much good to discuss this stuff. I guess you'd rather just call each other names, so…" He sighed heavily. I felt like a bug. "Keep reading _Persepolis_ tonight. Test is next week. You've got ten minutes. Entertain yourselves."

I stayed silent out of shame. Justin glared at Hillary, who, the second Mr. Klier had sat down at his desk, defeated, had attracted half the class to swarm around her desk to find out what horrible thing I had written.

I tried to think of what I would say to him. I hoped he would ask what had happened and give me a chance to explain. I did have some motive to do it; perhaps that would win me back some small semblance of respect.

The bell rang, and I noticed my heart was beating faster than usual. I didn't move from my seat as my classmates left the room in a hurry, eager to get home. Justin turned to me before he left, "I'll wait for you, Loch Ness."

"Thanks, Justin," I whispered.

A few minutes passed with both Mr. Klier and I sitting in silence. He had his head bowed in a book; I was too ashamed to speak. Eventually, he looked up with an unimpressed expression. "Well," he sighed. "Do I need to tell you not to do it again?"

"No," I shook my head. "It was immature. I—I'm sorry I did it."

"Really?" he gave a little smile. "I mean, you're right. It was immature, but I wouldn't be sorry about it. I'm sure you had your reasons."

"I-I did," I nodded. "Hillary—"

"I don't want to know what they are," I held a hand up. "It doesn't matter. You should know better. You shouldn't have done it, but I understand why you would want to."

"Okay," I said.

"Okay, so, you can go. Do me a favor?" he smirked. "Tell them I really let you have it; I don't want to ruin my rep."

I gave a little laugh and pulled my things together. He gave me a little wave as I left. With a little smile of relief, I started heading to the parking lot, ready to get home to my parents and my books and my Jacob.

"Loch Ness!" Justin popped out from around a corner a few feet away from our English class. "Was it bad?"

I smirked, "Horrible."

"Yeah," he shook his head. "I've heard that guy can be an asshole. Sorry about that. I shouldn't have told you to write back to her."

I shrugged, "I probably would have done it anyway."

"Yeah," he smiled. "So, what's you write? I'm kind of dying to know."

I laughed, "Oh, nothing. I'm sure she's heard worse. I just told her that she shouldn't be talking about 'freaks' when ninety percent of her body is plastic."

He chuckled, "Ha, that's a good one. Good for you, Loch Ness."

"Thanks," I smiled. "Were you, uh, heading out?" I pointed toward the door.

"Nah, I thought I'd set up a sleeping bag and pillow and crash in the hallway tonight," he smirked.

"Oh, you're so funny," I rolled my eyes as we both started walking towards the parking lot.

A few moments of silence passed, and I noted two girls hanging up flyers for Junior Prom tickets. I inwardly groaned. "So, uh, I really am sorry about that Nahuel guy. I know you were really excited about that."

"I guess," I shrugged, hating myself again for talking about it so much.

"But, I mean, it does kind of leave you…you know, open," he said.

"Open?" I repeated.

"You know, like, available. You can look for someone else now—move on," he shrugged.

"Oh," I considered. "Yeah, I guess I can." _Open mind_, I could hear my father reminding me.

"Yeah…" he nodded. He seemed to be shifting uneasily.

"You okay, Justin?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Who me? Yeah! Yeah, no, I'm great; why?" he got very jumpy.

"I don't know. You just seem a little…excited?" I smirked.

"Oh, okay. Well, yeah, actually," he took a deep breath. "There was kind of something I wanted to ask you." We had gotten to the door leading to the parking lot, where he reached out at the same time I did and pushed the door open for me.

"Thanks," I smiled at that unexpected act of chivalry and stepped through.

"Uh, I mean, it's not really a big deal, I just, kind of…I wanted to know if you would, uh, hypothetically do something," he rambled as we walked towards our cars.

"Ooh, sounds intriguing. Ask away," I smiled.

"Kay," he nodded. "Well, I'm not really sure how to ask this…but…uh, would you…would you possibly want to--?"

"Just spit it out, Justin," I laughed. "The suspense is killing me."

"Want to go to prom with me?" he asked proudly, thrilled that he was able to get the words out.

I just stared, unable to move, unable to speak.

"I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to. I just thought I'd ask, you know? Cause, I mean, how would I know if I never asked, right? And, oh! We don't have to go as, like, a couple. We could totally do the just friends thing, if you wanted. Or, I mean, if you wanted to…we could do it the other way, too. I mean, it's totally up to you. And, uh, if you need time or space or, uh, both, I guess…I can give you that. No problem. It's…it wouldn't be…a problem…"

I continued to stare.

"So…" he grimaced. "Is that a no?"

"No," I spoke without thinking.

"No," he sucked in a breath. "Okay. No, that's cool. I—I get it."

"No, Justin. No, as in, that's not a 'no'. Like, double negative. It—it makes a positive," I tried to explain.

"Positive?" he shook his head, confused.

"Yes," I sighed, smiling. "Yes, Justin. I will go to prom with you. I," I bit my lip, "I would be happy to."

"Oh!" his face beamed. "Oh! I—thanks, Loch Ness!" He cringed, "Er, Renesmee?"

I laughed, "Keep it Loch Ness. It's got a certain elegance."

He smiled, "Sure. Okay, whatever you say, Loch Ness. So, I'll uh, I'll buy the tickets, then."

"Oh, I can pay for—" I offered.

"No! No, no. I mean I know you're rich and all, but…I don't know. This is just…it's something I want to do."

"Okay," I shrugged. Dad would respect that.

"Okay, then," he smiled. "I guess I'll, uh, see you tomorrow, then?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "See you tomorrow."

I watched as he walked towards his Dodge Stratus on the other end of the parking lot. My BMW was a few feet in front of me, totally out of his way. I smiled to myself; he had walked me to my car.

I bit my lip, strangely touched and excited by this boy who had apparently seen something special in me—at least enough to want to dress up in a suit to take over-posed pictures, holding me around the waist. I almost giggled. I was giddy.

My bad day had turned around considerably.

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AN: Yay, Justin Taylor! But, oh wait, doesn't Nessie have an overprotective werewolf at home…hmm…

Review or Die! (it worked for Diddy…?)


	6. There's One Person I Would Do This For

AN: Hey, guys! I'm really hyped on this story now, and am already writing the next chapter as I post this—and that is entirely thanks to all your awesome reviews. Thanks!

Enjoy…

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"I think you're the only straight guy in here," Bella nudged my arm with a mockingly impressed tone.

I nodded, refusing to look around. I had never been in such a peculiar place. There were women of varying ages and fabrics of varying textures everywhere. It was like some other universe.

"Just see what it looks like on you!" Alice was demanding, her voice an octave higher than it usually was.

"Why?! I don't like it. It's ridiculous," Carlie sighed, already exhausted.

She had enlisted Bella and I to come along to Alice's mandated Prom Dress shopping event. We were waiting in silk upholstered chairs before a wall of mirrors and pedestals. She'd hoped that with three apathetic companions, Alice might give up and let Carlie get her dress on her own.

"Because you didn't even give it a chance, now get out there!" Alice insisted.

She wasn't having much luck.

"Geez," Bella's eyes went wide when she saw her immerging from the boutique's changing room. Mine did too, but that was normal.

"I know," Carlie sighed. The dress was pink—very pink—like Pepto-Bismol, with little multicolored gems coloring it. She had to pick it up in order to walk, because it was so full. It was a little outlandish, and on anyone else, it probably would have been ugly, but on Carlie…well, nothing could look bad on Carlie.

She impatiently stood up on the stand in from of the three mirrors, encircling her, "Yep. I look like a birthday cake."

"It's a Heidi Weisel original, Nessie," Alice put her hands on her hips.

"Seriously," she turned to me, ignoring Alice completely, "Make a wish and blow me out."

I laughed, amused by her wit, as I always was. Bella got up and stood behind her in the mirror. "It is a little overdone, Alice. Maybe something more subtle?"

"But it's one of a kind," Alice looked at her like she had suggested Carlie wear a sack to Prom.

"Can I get changed now?" Carlie sighed.

"Of course, hon," Bella smiled. "We'll keep Alice out here. Try on whatever you want."

"Isabella!" Alice's eyes grew wide.

"Alice," Bella spoke like she was addressing a small child. Carlie took the opportunity to reenter the changing room. "We've talked about this. Whose prom is it?"

Alice gave a heavy sigh, "But—"

"Eh, eh, eh," she held up a finger. "Whose prom is it?"

"But she's not being—"

"Alice! Whose prom is it?"

Alice closed her eyes and clenched her fists, "Nessie's prom."

"That's right. Nessie's prom," she linked arms with Alice and led her to the chair next to hers.

Reluctantly, Alice sat, crossing her legs and arms like a small child. I smiled, "This is really painful for you, isn't it?"

No answer.

"Geez," I shook my head.

"She'll be fine," Bella smiled.

"You guys ready?" Carlie called from the changing room.

"Yeah, let's see," she answered.

Carlie emerged in a crème colored strapless dress with a beaded top and simple bottom. She was stunning. "Well," she did a little turn, "What do you think?"

Her hair was up in a simple bun, messy and chaotic. The wisps of amber framed her face with perfection. Her eyes shown brilliantly, and her smile sang.

"Beautiful," I barely whispered.

"The dress, dog," Alice grumbled, too low for Carlie to hear.

Bella tilted her head to the side, as Carlie stepped up on the pedestal again. "I don't know; don't you think it looks a little…bridal?"

"No," she crossed her arms over her chest. "I mean, a little, I guess. But…it's pretty, isn't it?"

"Oh, it's very pretty," her mother shrugged. "What do you think, Jake? Waiting for her to walk down the aisle?"

Alice coughed out a little laugh at the obvious answer to her question. I ignored her, "I think if Carlie likes it, then our search is over."

Bella sighed, "All right, well, why don't you go try on another option, maybe something a little less white wedding, and then we'll go from there."

"Whatever," she shrugged and made her way back to the tiny, secluded room.

"Well, aren't you helpful," Bella shook her head at me, once Carlie was gone.

"She looked nice," I shrugged.

"He can't say no to her, Bella," Alice smiled smugly.

"Hey," I pointed to her. "I can too…you know, if she wants me to."

They both laughed at that. It had become easier as the years went by to joke about the whole imprinting deal. Of course, Carlie had no idea, as Bella and Edward had decided that they wanted her to be able to choose for herself who she was to be with. I don't think they totally understood imprinting, though, because I could never prohibit her from making her own decision about anything. I would do whatever made her happy. If she was happy marrying someone else, raising lots of fat children, I'd be happy too—no question.

But ever since the Nahuel situation, the family had been a little pushy. They didn't want her around anyone else, because they didn't want her to be hurt. That was one thing I had over every other prospect: I would never, _never_ hurt her. I was unable to.

But she was excited to go to prom with this Justin, so I was excited too. I think Bella had expected me to go all _primal_ when I found out, but it didn't work like that. I could never be angry with her—not that she ever did anything to try and make me.

"How 'bout blue?" Carlie called. "Is that more acceptable?"

Alice smirked at Bella and called out, "Your mother loves blue, Nessie. Come on, out."

I smiled, too. It felt like millennia had passed since Bella and Edward had been in a courting phase, and so odd that he had, at one point vanished from her life for her own good. But I still remembered one afternoon I was over her house and had discovered all Bella's blue clothing pushed over to the far side of her closet. I'd asked about it and noticed that horribly pained expression on her face, telling me it had something to do with the bloodsucker. I shook my head, so long ago.

Carlie appeared in a deep navy blue, simply elegant dress. There was little embellishment, but it wasn't needed. Two straps came up and met behind her neck and the silky fabric flowed gently down to the floor.

"Wow," Bella and I sighed together.

"You look very nice, Nessie," Alice chirped, still a little bitter.

"She looks better than nice," I wrinkled my brow.

"Aw, thanks, Jake," Carlie blushed.

"Well, come on, let us see," Bella motioned towards the pedestal. The dress moved languidly with her. She nodded to her daughter, "Yep. I think this is it."

"Yeah?" Carlie looked at herself over her shoulder and smiled at her reflection. "You're sure it's not too…normal?"

"You don't need the extras," Bella shook her head. "I can't think of one thing I would change."

"Ditto," I smiled.

"Let me see," Alice got up and grabbed the tag sticking out of Carlie's dress. "200? 200, Nessie?! Really?!"

Guilt flushed her features, "Oh, God, that is a lot, isn't it?"

Bella chucked, "She thinks it's too cheap, Renesmee."'

"What?" Carlie's eyes grew wide. "It's 200!"

Alice shook her head in agony and sat back down, her head in her hands, "I had such high hopes for you, Renesmee." I let out a low growl, to which Alice shot me a distinct glare.

"I think it's perfect," Bella smiled. "But that's not important. What do you think, hon?"

"I really like it," she couldn't help the smile that grew on her lips. "I _really_ like it," she repeated, quieter, almost to herself.

"Then, that's it!" I stood and moved over to her. "That's the dress. We can get out of here!"

Carlie laughed, "I'm sorry. This must've been torture for you, Jake. I'll change, and we'll get out of here."

I smiled and watched her move for the last time into the changing room. It should have been torture; I knew that. For any other male teenage werewolf, it would have been horrible. But, for me, it was incredible to be a part of such a process, be it tiring and monotonous in the minutes when I was separated from Carlie. I was honored to have experienced it.

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AN: Like I said, next chapter is in the works. Expect it today or tomorrow. We'll stay in Jake's POV for another chapter and then be back to Nessie for a little while.

I usually don't like switching POVs, but I felt like it was important for you guys to hear how Jake feels about Nessie and what his imprinting actually means.

Review! Please!


	7. Turns Out, I'm A Masochist

AN: There you go, guys. Next chapter.

Enjoy…

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I hated high school. Or, rather, I hated when Carlie was at high school. It was the most nerve-racking time of the day for me. I couldn't move. I just sat there most of the time, waiting for her to come home. Sometimes the TV was on, or sometimes I had a book open in front of me. To an outside observer, it would appear that I wasn't thinking about her, but the Cullens knew. Especially Edward.

"Maybe you should eat something," he suggested. "Would that help take your mind off her? At least for a few minutes?"

I just shook my head. Nothing helped. It was painful not to be near her—like someone had punched me in the gut and the blow never ended. It was hard to breathe, hard to think, hard to keep myself calm enough that I didn't run to the school, find her, and assess her condition.

Edward smiled in a way of understanding. He'd told me the way I felt about Carlie seemed very similar to the way he'd felt about Bella when he'd first fell in love with her. "Luckily, though, she doesn't attract quite as much danger as her mother," he'd laughed.

"Sorry, Jacob," he shrugged, not knowing how to help. It wasn't his fault. No one could help, but his effort was appreciated. "Less than an hour," he added with a little hope.

"Thanks," I mumbled gruffly.

"Don't mention it," he nodded once and headed upstairs.

Edward and I were…well, friends? It was still strange after all these years, though our reasons for disliking one another had all but been erased. It didn't bother me in the least when he kissed Bella, or when she smiled coyly as they made their way to their bedroom to do…well, more. In fact, it bothered me less than it bothered the Cullens—Emmett, especially, because Bella'd beaten him arm wrestling three times and he was forbidden from sex jokes for the rest of eternity.

"Jake," Jasper came bursting through the front door and appeared in the living room, eye's wide.

"What?" I was unbelievably rude from seven to three. It was a known fact.

"Emmett found a bunch of black bears, and they just woke up! You want at it?" he sounded so excited, and I knew I would have been if he'd asked when Carlie was home.

"No," I sighed, melancholy pervading my voice. "But you have fun."

He gave me a look of sympathy and pity and was gone.

A few moments went by, and I tried to close my eyes and think of something else. I flicked on the TV and watched a few seconds of some E! show, counting down the most horrible acts of violence ever.

_Oh_! Bad plan. They showed one shot of a school shooting, and I shook. She had to get home soon. She just had to.

"God, you're so pathetic," I heard Blondie as she brushed past me, on her way outside—probably to get a piece of the bear action. "I don't know why you won't just go to school. We did it for years."

I had no smart retort, "She doesn't want me to."

Carlie had never explicitly said that she didn't want me around at school, but it was obvious when the Cullens left high school to give her space, she had wanted me to go as well. She'd wanted to stand on her own—and apparently, I frightened her little friends.

"But you're miserable," she shrugged.

I shook my head. She would never understand. "I was fine until you started talking to me," I shot, too angry.

She sucked in a breath, and turned on her heel to leave, "Suit yourself, mutt."

I titled my head to crack the bones in my neck and hopefully relive some tension, and then closed my eyes again. I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. I figured if I could at least calm my body, I could live with turmoil in my mind. I refused to think of anything, and tried to focus on cleansing my brain—Bella had suggested that. "In through the nose, out through the mouth. It's what they do in yoga," she'd shrugged.

"Jacob?" Alice's voice sounded very far away, and I fought hard against reacting to it. I was almost calm.

"Please, Alice," I said through clenched teeth. "Not right now."

"Okay, sure," she said. "I just wanted to make sure you hadn't turned into stone."

"Nope," I over-articulated.

"You know you look like an idiot," she laughed.

"Yep," I couldn't help but smile just the slightest bit.

I heard her sit down next to me. The right side of my body felt a little chill. "So, you didn't want to go play with rowdy carnivores?"

"Did I mention my not wanting to talk right now?" I still fought to open my eyes.

"I don't know, did you?" she played innocent. "Well, I don't blame you. They're all crazy—probably going to come in here all muddy with their clothes ripped to pieces. It's disgusting."

"Alice," I almost growled.

"I told Jasper I wasn't going to watch it, so if he gets himself killed, I'm not coming to his rescue," she said, happily.

"How sweet," I gave up and opened my eyes.

"Hmm," she smiled. "It's funny."

"What's funny?" I asked, completely monotone.

"You remind me so much of him," she nodded.

"Jasper?" I wrinkled my forehead. I guessed, coming from her that was a complement, though I didn't see the resemblance.

She laughed, "No. Edward. It's uncanny." I sighed. I'd heard it before. In fact, the only one who hadn't mentioned it was Bella. "He used to sit there, just like this, and wait for Bella."

"He was with her most of the time," I reminded her.

"Not when it was sunny," she pointed to me. "Oh, God, he was so irritable. Then, when he was with her, he was just as bad—freaking out whenever she tripped or sneezed or breathed." She shook her head, "At least you don't watch her sleep."

_Only cause I sleep when she does_. "Yeah," I shook my head. "That'd be…uh…"

"You know what he used to call himself? A masochistic lion," she giggled.

I frowned, "Lion?"

"The lion and the lamb?" she tried.

"Like March?" I guessed.

She found that endlessly amusing, "Sure, go with that." She shook her head, "It's really not important. Edward likes to be dramatic and metaphorical. Hey, there's something else you got going for you; you don't try to be eloquent about your suffering."

"I'm not a lion," I agreed.

"No, you're a wolf," she pinched my cheek, and I push her away. Giggling, she stood up, "A masochistic wolf." She put her hands on her hips, "What will they think of next?"

"Jacob!"

_Carlie!_

"Jake!" she burst through the door, her face flushed and hair messy.

"Hey, Carlie," I stood up and smiled, feeling all the weight of the past few hours lift off me.

"Hi, Alice," she smiled, letting her books fall on the table next to the couch.

"Hey, hon," Alice nodded, and moved toward the door. "Maybe I'll go check on them; make sure they still have all their limbs."

"Have fun," I smirked, now totally at ease.

She nodded and shut the door behind her. Carlie pulled me into a hug, "Geez, it's freezing out there."

"That's what I'm here for," I smiled, hugging her back.

"Oh, stop, you're good for lots of other things," she pulled away, but held my hand. "You eat table scraps, you're entertaining when you do that little 'beg' thing, plus—pretty to look at."

_I _am_ a masochist, aren't I?_ "Well, at least there's that," I chuckled.

"Yeah," she tucked her hair behind her ear and bit her lip. She was nervous? Why? "Uh, could we take a walk? Like, outside?"

"Sure," I nodded. "Is something wrong?"

"No!" she shook her head. "No, nothing wrong. I just need to talk to you…kind of, ask you something." She let go of my hand. "Meet you at our spot?"

She didn't wait for me to agree, and I barely caught her running off, out the door and through the woods. Without thinking, I stripped off my clothes and shoved them in my mouth, running out the door and phasing as I went.

Our spot was the tallest tree in the forest, where we balanced on the tallest branch, totally out of sight of anything living, except for a few birds. No one knew about it, not even Edward. We agreed never to think of the exact spot in order to keep in secret. She'd been three when we'd first come out there.

"Come on!" she was already up in the tree, when I got there, seeing as she didn't need undress and change into a different genetic form in order to get there. "I'll close my eyes! Get up here!"

I barked up to her, letting my clothes drop to the floor, and began to phase back.

"I'm eight hundred and ten, Jake! Come on!" she whined.

"Give me a second," I chuckled, trying to pull my jeans on as fast as I could.

"One Mississippi!" she yelled.

Once I was finished dressing, I jumped up and grabbed her ready hand. She had no trouble pulling me up, and I sat on the branch opposite her. "Well, that was thrilling."

"Gotta keep you on your toes," she smiled.

"Of course," I laughed. "So, Carlie, what's up? What do you need my particular expertise on?"

"Uh, well, it's not really an expertise, thing. It's more of a—a favor?" she looked down at the leaves on the branch she was sitting on.

"A favor?" I wrinkled my brow, curious and a little worried.

"Yeah, like a personal favor—from you to me," she said.

"Sure," I nodded. "Whatever you need."

"Well," she sighed. "I wouldn't agree so easily. You might want to actually listen to the favor first."

_Like it matters_. "Okay, Carlie, shoot."

"Okay, well," she ran a hand through her hair. "There's this girl—I think you might have met her—uh, Emily?"

I tried to think of the girl's face, but nothing came to mind. I had trouble remembering Carlie's friends. Most of the time, I was focusing on her; it was a little difficult for me to look away. "Uh, sure," I shrugged.

"Yeah, so, uh, she…she and her friend, uh, Mel? They were planning on going, like, together—not, like, a lesbian thing, but more to like—fight the system or something. But, uh, anyway—this guy asked Mel to prom, and she said yes, so then Emily's kind of left, well, high and dry, you know?"

I just stared and nodded.

"So, she was going on and on about how much this sucks and how everyone on earth already has a date and how much prom is going to suck now, and then she…she asked if I knew anyone who would be available…"

_Oh…_

"And so…" she bit her lip. "I mentioned…you?"

My mouth formed a little 'o.' It wasn't that the thought was all that unattractive to me—being near to Carlie the night of prom would probably make those few hours much less trying.

"I mean, you don't have to do it, Jake. I'm sure she would, you know, understand. It's just…it would mean a lot," she shrugged. "To me."

"Carlie," I said.

"Please, Jake! Oh! And I'll pay for your suit, no problem, and I promise I won't abandon you. We could…you could eat my food, and we can dance to horrible music and…it'll probably be at least a little bit of fun." She smiled that smile that she knows I can't resist.

"All right," I sighed. "As long as you promise a little bit of fun."

"I do!" she exclaimed, excited. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, Jake!" she wrapped her hands around my neck and pulled herself to me. "You're the best!"

I shook my head against her. Emmett and Jasper were going to have a field day with this. But that didn't matter. Carlie was happier than she'd been since before Nahuel, and that meant I was happy, too.

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AN: If I get reviews…I'll update…

Makes sense to me…


	8. Dancing

AN: Lord, this chapter's long. Ten pages?! What's wrong with me? Anyhow, we're now back to Nessie, which means the chapter titles are less entertaining--yet another way she takes after her mother...

Enjoy…

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_Kill me._

"Behave, Renesmee," Dad smiled as he passed by, holding a large silver platter, decorated with numerous different cheeses of numerous different colors.

"Smile," Emmet grinned ear to ear and snapped his thousandth picture of me. In this one, I held up a strong, distinct middle finger.

"Put that down!" Alice demanded, indicating my finger. "You're a lady." She brushed by me.

"Yeah, you're a lady," Emmett nodded, mockingly.

"Mom!" I pounded into the kitchen, where the family was setting up the most elaborate spread that my friends would ever see.

"What's wrong, honey?" she murmured, distracted. "Did anyone thing to get drinks?"

"Taken care of," Alice sighed. "Honestly, when will you learn?"

"Mom," I said again, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Honey, you shouldn't be in here. You'll get something on your dress," she nodded.

"This is too much food, Mom. There's only a few people coming, and we had to pay seventy bucks for those prom tickets, and that included food, so I'm sure they're going to want to eat that food—"

"Renesmee," she sighed. "I get it. I hated this when I was your age, too, but you'll be glad you did it later. Trust me."

"Tanya's running a little late, but she says she'll be here soon," Carlisle said, putting his cell phone in his pocket.

"Tanya's coming?!"

He smiled and shrugged, "She insisted."

"Oh, and Zafrina sends her regrets but made me promise to send pictures," Dad smirked, enjoying this a little too much.

"Seth's on his way," Mom nodded.

"My, God! Was there, like, a bulletin somewhere?" I flung my arms in the air. "Did you invite the Volturi, too? _They_ should be here to witness this happy occasion!"

"Nessie," Carlisle called after me, but I refused to listen. I ran outside to the deck, which had been decorated to the nines. I plopped myself down in a lawn chair with white ribbons tied on it.

My friends would start arriving in about a half hour, so I figured I could hide outside until they got here. At least, then, my family would have to act normal.

I was dying to see Jacob. He was still up in his room, getting ready. It wasn't that it had taken him that long; it was just that Rosalie had insisted that she do my hair hours in advance so that she could make sure it could endure prom. It was all ringlet curls, half of which were secured back in a beautiful clip. I'd been waiting around, wearing my dress, with my hair done, and high heels on for two hours.

"My God. Don't you look stunning," Jacob smiled from the doorway, and I leapt into his arms. He chuckled, hugging me back, "Oh, my little drama queen." At that, I pushed away and sat back down. He followed me, "Come on, now. It can't be that bad. What's got you out here all by yourself?"

"They invited the National Guard to this!"

Jake chuckled, "Well, good. You'll feel very safe."

I gave him a little smile as he sat down across from me. "You look nice," I told him. He had not let me pay for his suit—which, in fact, was a tux! I was very impressed. Emily was lucky to have him for the night.

"I thought I did," he shook his head. "Until I saw you. Now, I'm not so sure. I might need Blondie to work some kind of miracle on me."

"I wouldn't talk to Rose right now. She's not in the best mood," I groaned.

"What happened?" he smirked.

"I was a little too impatient for her to finish my hair, I guess. She hasn't spoken to me since she finished," I sighed. That wasn't entirely true; she had mumbled something about an, 'ignorant brat' before giving me one last squirt of hairspray and leaving in a huff.

He smiled, "Are you excited?"

I shrugged, "I'm excited for Prom. For the actual prom, that is. This whole thing," I indicated the house, "This is torture."

"I hear ya," he shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "At least you know your date. I'm going to be standing there for hours, taking pictures with this girl while the family tries not to laugh in my face."

I laughed, "It won't be hours. Don't be melodramatic."

"It'll feel like hours," he narrowed his eyes at me.

"Well, then, I guess I'll just have to make the actual prom that much more fun for you," I shrugged.

"I guess you will," he said, unable to keep from smiling.

"Are you going to be nice to Justin?" I pointed to him.

"I'm always nice to Justin," he pretended to be offended.

"Jacob Black," I raised an eyebrow at him.

He rolled his eyes, "I'll be nice. I give you my word."

"Nessie!" Esme peeked her head out and smiled. "A young man has arrived for you."

A chill flew up my spine, and I smiled, "He's a little early."

"That's good," Jake nodded and stood. "It means he's nervous."

Esme laughed elegantly. "He's in the living room talking to your father; you may want to interfere."

"Oh, God," I sighed, and moved back into the house.

Jacob turned to Esme, chuckling, "And she was worried about me."

"Well, I mean, I've been looking at some websites and stuff—" I heard Justin's unsure voice, trying to sound more adult.

"For which schools?" my father sounded like an attack dog.

"Loch—Uh, Nessie," he exclaimed when he saw me. Mom narrowed her eyes a little at his near slip.

He looked very gentlemanly, dressed up in his suit, with his tie matching my navy blue dress. I couldn't help but smile. "Hey, Justin. Uh, welcome."

"Thanks," he tried to smile. He was a nervous wreck; it was unbelievably sweet. "Uh, I've been talking to your brother. He's, uh, very welcoming."

"Ai'nt he, though," I smiled. _Could we maybe save the interrogation for later?_ "Why don't you come in and, uh, meet my parents?" I indicated the kitchen and inwardly groaned at the display on the table.

"Sure," he shrugged and moved deeper into the house.

"Sorry," Dad whispered, too low for him to hear. "I just worry."

"I'm not marrying him," I whispered back. "Just relax."

"It—it's very nice to meet you, Mr. Cullen—Dr. Cullen!" Justin was not far off from a paralyzing heart attack. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Carlisle smiled. "It's very nice to meet you, Justin."

"Thanks," he breathed, and I stepped to his side. "And, uh, Mrs. Cullen," he turned to Esme.

"Nice to meet you," she smiled warmly.

"Your—your house is lovely," he nodded, trying again to sound like an adult. I laughed gently.

Esme shot me a quick glance, then turned back to Justin, another smile gracing her face, "Thank you very much, Justin. What a kind thing to say."

The rest of the family had gathered by then, and I could tell Justin was feeling a little claustrophobic. "Why don't we head--?" I began to suggest we take the party outside, when the door burst open.

"Hello, loves," Tanya burst through the door with a flourish. We all turned to look instinctually.

I noticed Justin's face fall. "Is she a friend of yours?" he asked nervously.

"Family," I shook my head.

"More family?" he sounded amazing.

"Yep," I shrugged.

"So she's not coming with us, then?" he seemed relieved.

"No," I shook my head and smiled. Tanya could be a little overwhelming.

"Nessie, you look gorgeous," she smiled at me and kissed me on the cheek after greeting Carlisle. "And look at you, Jacob! So debonair."

"Thanks," Jacob tried not to laugh.

"Well, uh, why don't we move outside? It's getting a little cramped in here," I suggested, pulling Jacob's arm towards the back door.

Slowly, but surely, everyone followed.

……………………………………………….

The rest of the pre-prom guests arrived in the next few minutes. Seth ran up from the woods, and I tried to block my friends from seeing him. He apologized for being late and explained that Leah would have been here if she hadn't had class.

Seth and Leah were both in school. He was studying cinematography at the local community college. Leah had gone south to California to spend some time at a sunny beach. In fact, she'd liked it so much that she'd stopped phasing for a year, but freaked out when she found she'd grown an inch and phased back. She was studying philosophy at UCLA.

When everyone was there, we all lined up with our respective partners. Emily wore a pretty green dress that hugged her curves well. She looked beautiful, and she'd looked pleased with Jacob.

We took an endless amount of pictures with my family and the families of my friends sending out flashes of light all at the same time. No one knew where to look. We stood on the deck, on the stairs, near the outside of the house…

"God, I'm exhausted, can we please go dance now?" I sighed when my father finally put his camera down for a second.

Dad looked to Carlisle, who smiled, "All right, everyone. There's a surprise in the front of the house. Would you like to see it?"

All the guys cheered in excitement and began moving towards the front of the house. I narrowed my eyes and moved over to Carlisle, "Not a huge fan of surprises."

Dad laughed, coming up next to me, "A spitting image."

"Come on," Carlisle held his arm out to me, and I took it suspiciously.

"Holy shit!" one of the guys exclaimed, and I began to walk faster.

Jacob came up to us. "She's gonna kill you," he smiled to Carlisle.

"Geez," I took my arm back and ran around to the front of the house and found—

"A limo!" Justin was ecstatic, along with the rest of my friends.

"A limo?" I whispered tensely to Carlisle, who kissed my temple and sighed.

"Be a teenage girl for the night, Nessie."

Dad laughed and squeezed my hand, "Have fun."

Mom appeared at his other side, "Be safe."

Jacob smiled at me, "I'll take good care of her, I promise."

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Junior Prom smelled like fish.

"Ugh," I wrinkled my nose immediately as the group of us stepped into the darkened room.

"It's the aquarium, Carlie," Jacob smiled and whispered to me. "What were you expecting?"

The Student Body had thought it was a joke when they'd gotten the voting ballots used to pick the location of the prom and Olympia Aquarium was an option. Most people circled it in an attempt to go along with the joke. I hoped they were laughing now.

"Air freshener?" I shrugged.

"Loch Ness, look," Justin pointed up to the ceiling. The whole group looked with me. I gasped when my eyes met thousands of shimmering lines of faux fish hanging from the dome ceiling of the aquarium's lobby area. They were a beautiful and unique chandelier replacement, and I couldn't help the impressed smile that grew on my lips.

"Leave it to Brianna Frost to turn a fish tank romantic," Emily shook her head, disbelieving.

"Who's Brianna Frost?" Jake turned to her.

"She's—" I started to say without thinking.

"Student body President," Emily answered, cutting me off. "Since Freshman year."

Justin laughed, "That's the Junior class for you—terrified of change."

"Or we could say loyal," Jacob shrugged, smiling.

The whole group laughed lightly. I leaned over discreetly and pinched Jacob's arm.

He shot me a quick glance, and then turned to Emily and offered his arm, "Why don't we find a table? Then commence with dancing?"

"Sure," Emily smiled coyly and wrapped her arm around his. The two of them started walking, and the group followed. I caught Justin nervously glancing at me, probably wondering if I expected an arm. I just smiled at him and followed Jake and Emily.

They claimed a table near the back of the room, and we all placed our belongings down to mark our territory. We sat boy-girl-boy-girl, me between Justin on my left and Jacob on my right. "There's a cool view here," Jacob had said, indicating the wall, which was actually a gigantic fish tank. "You guys like it?"

I smiled at him, proud that he was being so friendly. My friends all agreed that the table was great, and that the wall was, indeed, very cool. "Well, all right, here we are," Melanie shrugged as we all sat around the table, no one speaking.

"Anyone hungry?" Scott suggested, but no one responded.

"Wanna get pictures taken?" Emily tried.

"I think that's the line," Justin pointed to a long extension of gowns and suits. It had looped around the dance floor already.

"Eesh," I shook my head.

"Let's wait 'till the line dies down a little," Melanie nodded.

A few more moments passed. Jacob raised an eyebrow at me, already doubting my promise of fun. "Well, okay, then," I pushed myself up, out of my seat. "Why don't we dance?"

"No one's out there, yet," Emily shook her head.

"Well, someone has to start it, right?" I shrugged.

"I'll go if you go," Justin smiled.

"I'm going!" I declared, pulling him up by his arm—careful, always, not to touch skin. "Who's with me? Jake?" I turned to him.

"You know I'm willing to make a fool outta myself," he smiled. "But I've got gentlemanly responsibilities tonight, so you've gotta convince this one." He smiled at Emily.

"I'm not making a fool out of myself," she smiled back at him. "You go ahead and do it, though."

"Oh, come on, Em," I begged. "Be a nonconformist."

"Nonconformists don't go to prom," she smirked.

The table laughed. "All right," Melanie stood with her date. "We'll go."

"Excellent!" I turned to Scott. "How 'bout you, Scotty? Wanna participate in life or just sit and let it pass you by?"

Scott laughed and looked to his date, who gave a little smile, "Well, when you put it like that."

"Ah!" at last, I turned back to Emily. "Come on, Emily. Everyone's in but you."

"Then I'd be conforming, when you think about it," she crossed her arms over her chest.

Justin laughed, "C'mon. Let's just go. She'll feel so ostracized, she'll have to join us."

He went to take my hand, but I wrapped my arm around his. Jacob shot me a look, and I kicked him under the table. "Sounds perfect," I smiled at him and let him lead me to the empty dance floor, leaving Jacob and Emily alone at the dark table in the back of the room.

…………………………………………………………..

As soon as we started dancing, more people began to file onto the floor, until it was full and a healthy amount of sweat was added to the fish odor. My friends were having the time of their lives, and I was trying to join them, but Jake being elsewhere distracted me. Even with phenomenal hearing, was a little difficult for me. Justin didn't seem to notice how distracted I was, as it wasn't hard for me to find the beat of a song and move my body with it.

"You know, I have a friend named Emily," Jacob was saying, leaning in to her so that he could be heard over the music.

"Really?" she nodded. "From your high school?"

"No," he shook his head. "A friend of the family." A few moments of silence passed. Justin and Scott made the other girls laugh by dancing like idiots. I smiled, too, trying to seem in the moment. "She's a great person," he nodded. "Really sweet. She's pregnant, actually."

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh at Emily's reaction to that. No doubt, she had been imagining someone our age, and now she was caught a little off guard. "Oh! That's great."

"Yeah," he nodded. "She's very happy."

She nodded with him. "I feel like I'm ruining your night. You can go dance if you want."

"No, don't be ridiculous. I'm here with you," he shook his head. "I mean, if you want to go dance, I wouldn't object, but it's totally up to you."

She smiled, "I'm really glad Nessie set us up."

I froze at that. _Set you up?_ I did not set them up. He was doing me a favor…

"What's wrong, Loch Ness?" Justin was still dancing. "Intimidated by my moves? That's okay. I'll try and ugly 'em up for you," he joked.

I smiled at him, "No, I'm just going to go check on Jake—make sure he's behaving himself, you know?"

He stopped, looking a little concerned, "Okay…you want me to come with you?"

"No, no," I shook my head. "Don't worry about it. I'll be right back."

"Okay," he nodded, "I'll be here."

I made my way through the crowd, careful not to touch anyone and leisurely made my way to Jake and Emily, saying hi to friends and complementing dresses and hair. Eventually, I got to them, and Jake starred up at me, smiling, "Hey, Carlie. How's the dance floor?"

"A lot more fun than sitting here," I put my hands on my hips. "I can promise you that."

"We've been getting to know each other," Jake shrugged. "I think we've had some fun." He turned to Emily, questioningly. She smirked and nodded.

"Well, that's great," I said, sounding oddly tense. Suddenly, I was overcome with the desire to talk to Jacob alone. It was the strangest thing—like I'd felt whenever I'd seen a girl hold her guy's hand or when I'd seen the look of joy on people's faces when they ate something and enjoyed it. I was…jealous? What?

"You okay, Carlie?" Jake stood, looking concerned.

"Fine," I told him, eyes wide. "Just..uh, Emily?" I shook my head and turned to look at her. "Would you mind if I stole your date for a few minutes? I just…I need to talk to him about something."

"Sure," Emily said at the same time as Jacob put his hands on my shoulders and whispered, "Carlie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," I took his hand, but focused on showing him nothing, "Just come talk to me." He nodded and pulled me away from the table. I looked back and threw a quick, "Thanks, Em," back to a confused looking Emily.

Jacob pulled me into one of the coves of the aquarium that was roped off so that the faculty to keep tabs on everyone by keeping them in one area. It was very dark, but we could see each other. A light blue was reflected onto our skin from the nearby tanks. If I hadn't been so emotional, I would have appreciated its beauty.

"You're freaking me out, kid," Jake shook his head once we were alone. "What's going on?"

"That's just it," I shrugged. "Nothing's going on. I'm going crazy."

"Did something happen?" he asked.

"No," I shook my head. "I was just dancing and then I was listening to you and Emily, and I was…I don't know…I just really wanted to be around you…and…is something wrong with me?"

He paused for a second, then, slowly, a smile began to grow on his lips, "Nothing's wrong with you…"

"I feel…weird, Jake," I couldn't put my feelings into words. I wanted to…to touch him. I wanted to hold him close to me and never let go.

"It's okay," he promised. Why was he smiling like that? What was going on?

"Jake, I…" I leaned into him, feeling his warm chest under my palms. I looked up at him, and wanted more than anything for him to lean down…

"Carlie," he sighed, laughing gently, and bent his head down into a perfect kiss.

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AN: Yay! Finally, right? Well, hey, it's not all sunshine and roses. Nessie still has to be told that she's been kept in the dark about the whole imprinting situation and then there's her prom date who's still waiting to dance with her…

Sounds like there's some drama on the horizon…

Review!

PS: Oh, and yes, Emily Uley is pregnant. Good for her and Sam! Yay!


	9. Gravity

AN: Hey, next chapter! Hopefully this answers most of your remaining questions about the imprinting situation…oh, and those of you who thought the last chapter was the happy ending? That'd be like leaving after the first act of _Into to Woods_. Not sure what that is? Good, you probably have a life. Just kidding, love my musicals!

Wow, rant much? Anyhow, enjoy…

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When I was very little, my father showed me the video of his wedding to my mother. I sat in his lap as he pointed out members of the family, and I noted each happily. I laughed when I saw Grandpa, nervously pushing himself down the aisle, and sighed in awe of my mother's beauty.

I made no sound as I listened to my parents pledge their lives to each other--my mother with tears steaming down her face, and my father with tears in his voice. It was absolutely beautiful, and I wished with all my heart that I would one day find someone who I loved and who loved me nearly as much as my parents did each other.

"You'll find it, Renesmee," He smiled and whispered. He sounded so sure. My forehead creased with doubt, and he picked me up and turned me to face him. "You will," he demanded. "And when you do, you'll feel something that can't be put into such a simple word as 'love.' There are no words for it. It completes you; you don't realize how empty your life was until it happens. And when you find it, you won't loose it, because you're smarter than I am. You'll keep it safe and hold it close to you forever, and you'll be _so_ happy."

I smiled then, though he knew I still didn't believe him.

"Jacob," I whispered, his lips still on mine.

I was beginning to understand what he'd meant.

Gently, he placed his hands on my shoulders and pushed me barely an inch away. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"What?" I could hardly breathe, the sensation was still fresh. It was so incredible—so new. I wanted him to kiss me forever.

"I should explain," he said, unable to keep a small smile off his face. "Why don't you sit down?"

"I don't want to sit down," I shook my head. "I want to…" I moved my face up to his, "…do that…again…"

He complied and kissed me again. I let my hands travel to his cheeks, then his hair. He held me firmly, a strong hand on my back and another on my face. Lost in sensation, I had somehow forgotten to think. What was going on? Jacob? JACOB!? Jacob, my best friend since the day of my birth!?

"Wait," I reluctantly pulled away from him and moved to the opposite side of the cove. "I-I don't…what was that?"

"Okay," he smiled. "Now, the most important part of all this is that you don't freak out, okay?"

I didn't like the sound of that. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I shrugged. "Why are you not freaking out about this?" Suspicion appeared in my tone, "Did you _plan_ this?"

"No!" he put his hands out as a show of innocence. "No, not at all, Carlie. I…I mean…well, not exactly."

"Not exactly!" I threw my arms up. "You 'not exactly' planned this? What's going on, Jacob?!"

"Remember what I said about not freaking out?" he smirked.

"Jacob!" I demanded, and my voice cracked. My body was so overwhelmed, but I hadn't expected tears.

Instantly, his face fell. "No," he whispered and moved over to me. "No tears. It's okay."

He reached for my shoulders, but I pushed him away, "Don't…" But I _wanted_ him to. I wanted him to hold me and kiss me and… "Jacob," I shook my head, breathless, "What's going on?"

"Okay," he sighed. "I need you to try and remember something from a really long time ago."

"Why?" I shook my head.

"Just…please," he gave a little malicious smile, "For me?"

I sighed, "What am I supposed to remember?"

"Think back to when you were first born—"

"Jacob, that's insane!" I yelled at him.

"Just try," he urged me, gently. "I'll remind you if you can't remember."

I tried.

It was a ridiculous thing to ask of someone. No one remembered being born. Granted, my birth was not as long ago as most people my age, but still. I only vaguely remembered what I wore yesterday, let alone that. And what did my birth have anything to do with kissing Jacob?

"You were with your mother," he tried. "She was holding you, because she was angry at me, and she thought you would prevent her from committing unneeded violence. Do you remember that?"

"She did that all the time," I shrugged and smiled. "You're very annoying."

"One of the first times," he insisted, not even pausing to smile. "You were just a few days old. She was _really_ upset."

"Why?" I raised an eyebrow. "Does this have a point at all?"

"Yes," he nodded. "You already _know_ this. You may not remember, but you already know it." He stopped and grinned wide, "You really are your mother, aren't you?"

"I don't what you're talking about," I shook my head.

"All right, strike one," he sighed, giving up that strategy. "Uh, remember my friend Quil?"

"Yeah," I narrowed my eyes. This was getting ridiculous.

"Okay," he bit his lip. "Remember Claire?"

I crossed my arms, "Yeah."

He didn't say anything; he just stood there with his eyebrows raised, as if it was still my turn to speak.

I shook my head and thought. Quil and Claire? He'd been a friend of Jacob's since he was little. She was Emily's niece. She was starting middle school next year. He was…well, he was still in La Push…

"Oh," I gasped.

Thoughts were racing through my head. Quil had _imprinted_ on Claire. He had _imprinted_. It was suddenly very hard to breathe. Jacob? Imprinted? On…me?

"It's okay, Carlie," he looked so concerned.

"You," I whispered. "Me?"

He looked in my eyes, and I could see my terrified reflection. He gave a nod, and I gasped. "I know it's a lot to—"

"When?" I demanded impulsively, totally without thought. "Just now? You just imprinted now?"

He paused for a second, "That's not really how it works."

"Then—then when? Why…what's…" My head was a mess. "I can't breathe."

"Shh," he crooned. "It's all right. It…it happened a while ago."

"How long is a while?" I shot.

"Roughly, six years…?"

I almost fainted. My entire life! He'd been imprinted to me my entire life. "What?!"

"Please, Carlie. Please, just try and listen—"

"And you never thought it might be fun to tell me?!" Words kept filing out of my mouth, like a hungry group of high schoolers on their way out of class and into lunch. "I mean, God, Jake. All this time, I think you of all people…you would tell me anything! You're—you're my best friend, unequivocally! I've never kept a secret from you. Not once! And all this time you've been--?" The tears started coming back.

"I wanted to tell you, Carlie," he looked so sad. "I wanted to; I swear I did. But your parents thought it would be better if I didn't."

"Why?" I nearly spat.

"They didn't want you to feel…obligated, I guess," he shrugged.

"Obligated?" I sneered.

"But, I mean," he shook his head. "That isn't how it works. I want to be whatever you want me to be. There was never any guarantee that you would…I mean, usually that's how it happens, but…I mean, you don't have to if you don't…"

"That's why," I nodded. "That's why I feel so…"

"No," he held a hand up. "That's why _I_ feel…" he smiled deviously. "I don't know why you feel…I guess, you're ready?"

"Ready?" I spat. "What am I? Cookie dough?"

"No," he smiled. "You're so upset. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you upset."

"No," I shook my head. "You didn't mean to do anything. You wouldn't do anything. You would never have told me, would you?"

"Carlie," he placed his hand on my cheek. "I wanted to…" His hand felt so normal on my skin, so right and natural. He bent down again, and I let myself be kissed. I was helpless. I wanted him so badly. "I love you, Carlie," he whispered.

Now the tears fell. It wasn't that he had never said those words before. He had said them too many times to count. …But he'd never meant _that_. There was a deep pain in my chest that stung. Part of me wanted to give the words back to him, for they were as real now as they had been all my life, but part of me was deathly afraid.

"I.." I pushed him away meekly, but he moved out of consideration. "I…need some…time…I think. I'm sorry." I did not stay to see his reaction, which I'm sure was some combination of sadness and understanding.

I wiped my tears away fiercely, walking quickly back into prom. I scanned the dance floor for my friends, but couldn't find them. Trying to breathe deeply, I walked uneasily back to the table.

"Hey, Loch Ness," Justin and the rest of them had congregated there. "We were just going to come look for you."

"We had a very complicated plan set up," Scott nodded.

"There were blue prints and lasers," he smirked.

"I was going to watch," Melanie smiled.

"It was very thrilling," Scott tilted his chin up, arrogantly.

"Sorry to ruin your plans," I whispered hoarsely.

My voice made Justin look up at my face. I prayed that he could not tell I had been crying, "You okay, Loch Ness?"

"Fine," I nodded, trying to smile, "I think I just need some air. It's…uh, it's a little crowded in here."

"Oh, okay," he shrugged.

"Hey, Nessie," Emily leaned her chin on her fist. "You loose Jacob somewhere?"

_Oh_! His name in her mouth stung. Jacob. Jacob belonged to me. He was mine. There was something familiar in that thought. Maybe I _had_ known it all along.

"I think he smelled food," I joked completely without tone. "I have to go." I began to search the room for the exit.

"You want company? It can be kind creepy outside if you're all alone," he smirked.

I tried to be nice, "No. I don't mind being alone. Please, stay here."

His face looked like it had not worked, "Oh. Okay, sure." He sat back down. "Hey, when you come back in, we'll dance."

"Uh huh," I nodded, and moved away from my table giving them all a little wave.

The exit was not hard to find. I passed a girl in hysterics with her followers circled around her. "He ruined my Prom!" she bawled. "I waited for this for _so_ _long_!"

_For six years?_ I wanted to snap at her. I was incredibly grateful that Jacob had not come after me. But then again, he would know that was what I wanted. He was whatever I wanted. So, if I wanted a pet or a slave or a god or a personal stand up comic he would be that? How was that possible? How could I possibly change him like that?

I didn't want to change him like that, though. I didn't want to change him at all. I wanted him to be able to be whoever he wanted to be—whoever he was before I was born. How was it fair that he was different now, no matter how he claimed to be happy? Were the people who knew him before happy? Had I taken away their Jacob Black? Did Seth harbor some unspoken resentment towards me? Did my mother miss the way he was before me? I started to tear up again; I couldn't bare that.

The night air was cool but sweet. There were limos waiting outside, all in a row. I was sure Carlisle's was among them. I moved around to the side of the building, so that I couldn't be seen.

I thought about what that magic word meant. _Imprint_. I'd heard it explained from Quil and Seth and Sam and Paul and even Leah, who all had either experienced it themselves or heard about it from each other. It was as if gravity shifted, and you no longer had a will of your own.

I shook my head. That sounded terrible. I did not want to deny Jacob his free will. I did not want him to wait on me hand and foot while I fell in love and married someone else. What kind of life was that? It didn't seem at all fair.

Though it didn't seem that was the life I was choosing for him to live. We had kissed, which means I had wanted to kiss him. A shutter ran through me. It was all a little much. He had somehow known that I wanted him to be…what? In love with me? How unbelievably selfish!

I took my hair out of its clip and let its pieces fall where they liked, then stared at the clip in my hands. I released it, and then clipped it again. Then released it and clipped it again.

Was this Jacob? Someone I could clip or release, as I liked? There was such an incredible sadness in it. I hated it. I hated _me_.

"Loch Ness!"

_Oh God_, I sighed, stunned at my prom date's concern. What had I done to earn such attention? Why wasn't he enjoying his prom?

"Justin," I turned to him, barely trying to sound happy. "Please go back and enjoy Prom. I promise; I'm fine."

He sighed, "Nessie. I…I like you…a lot." I closed my eyes. Not two in one night. "And I don't know what's going on, but…I need you to know. I want to be with you. I don't care about all that—the dresses and the dancing and the food—"

"You should eat," I suggested. "I'm not hungry. I'll come back later."

He paused for a moment, frustrated, "No, I…I mean it. I'm staying with you. I think you're incredible—"

"You're wrong," I turned away from him.

"See?" he smiled, as if I'd proved some point. "You don't even know how incredible you are! You…you're not like anyone else I've ever met."

"Maybe that's not a good thing," I kept my head down, staring at my clip called Jacob.

"Of course it is," he laughed. "But…I get it. You're…you don't know what you want. No one does. And…I mean, we don't have to start anything, if that's what's wrong."

"It has nothing to do with you, Justin," I turned around, hating myself more for making him feel guilty about something. "I just…I'm going through something kind of…weird."

"Well, why don't you tell me—"

"No," I demanded. "It's really not the type of thing you can solve by venting. I'm sorry; I know I'm being a bitch, but…please, just go back inside. I really want to be—"

"Alone," he finished. "I know. You said that before."

"I'm sorry, Justin," I shook my head. "You really are a great guy…and I admire your persistence. It's…you're saying all the right things and…if I were someone else…"

"I get it," he shrugged. "It's a 'no' after all. No double negative?"

I cringed, "No double negative."

He nodded for what seemed like the longest moment in history. "Loch Ness?" he whispered.

"Yeah, Justin?"

"Do you think I could be alone…with you?" he smirked. I narrowed my eyes at him and he laughed, "I just…I told them I was going to check on you and…I just…I don't feel like going back in and telling everyone just yet…"

"Oh," I sighed.

"I won't say anything," he offered. "I'll just stand here. You don't even have to look at me. I just…please?"

I'd already been cruel enough to him tonight, "Okay, Justin. You can be alone with me."

He smiled like a teenage boy and pointed past me, "Bench or wall?"

I followed his finger with my eyes and saw that there was, indeed a bench painted blue with numerous multicolored fish painted on it. I blushed and pushed myself off the wall, "Bench."

We laughed a little and sat down. It was a little difficult to get back on my train of though with him there, but I held my clip in one hand and placed the other gently on my knee. After a few deep breaths, Jacob's face was back in my mind.

There was a flip side I supposed. If he really were happy to be with me, then to let him go…ugh…would make him unhappy. A willing slave. My own willing slave? But, then again, what was love if not a total gift of oneself to another? Hadn't my gravity shifted also? Was there anything I wouldn't do for Jacob?

I smiled, not able to think of one.

Was I in love?

I smiled wider, letting happier tears begin to form. I felt so warm—so uncertain—so chaotic. Was this what love was? This undeniable force inside me? This need to have him around me? This craving for him to laugh, to smile, to be proud of me?

It was so incredibly warm.

I was in love!

"What?" Justin's voice shocked me into reality. His face was shocked, terrified. His gaze moved down to the bench's seat, and mine followed him.

_Oh, no_! My hand. He'd had my hand! I began to breathe very heavily.

"What _was_ that!?" he stood up. "I—I…what the hell? Did you…?"

"Justin," I tried to stay very calm. "I can explain…" _No, no I could not. Not without killing my entire family_.

"No," he shook his head. "Loch Ness, I…That was…just, no!" he shook his head violently as he turned away in horror and began to run back towards the line of black limos.

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Nooooo! Well, what a night for our little Nessie. Hope someone catches Justin before he does something that could tick of the Volturi. …and I hope it's Jacob Black…but we'll talk about that later.

Reviews make me procrastinate doing my homework! (But that's good for you, so do it!)


	10. Die Young

AN: Hey, guys, next chapter. This one's a little bit dramatic, but it's also sort of the turning point (yeah, remember your plot structure triangles?) so I guess that's fitting.

Thanks for all the reviews. You guys rock!

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"What did he see?"

"Jacob."

"That's all?"

"That's all I was thinking. I can't really be sure."

"All right. Don't worry. We'll find him."

"Mom?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm so sorry."

"It'll be okay. Just…stay there."

The phone went dead. Tears were drying on my cheeks, ruining the face Rosalie had created earlier.

At first, I'd gone back inside to try and find Justin. I'd tried desperately to act like nothing was wrong when I asked my friends if they'd seen him. Emily had laughed, "Nope, not since he left with you. Geez, what do you do to 'em, Loch Ness?"

I'd almost wept right there, as if I'd needed a reminder of how much of a monster I was. Then, I'd headed back outside and searched the perimeter of the building. Nothing. Finally, I tracked down Carlisle's limo driver, who said that Justin had asked him to drop him off at home and then come back.

So that was where my parents were headed now, along with Carlisle and possibly Jasper, too, to help calm Justin down. I was paralyzed on the bench outside, clutching my phone desperately, hoping for a call saying everything was okay.

The wind rustled the leaves on a tree not too far away, and I turned like a hawk, hoping it was Jacob. Every sound that anything made, I prayed it was Jake. I needed him near me. I needed him to hold me.

I still felt horrible for my part in his servile destiny, but I was beginning to break down. I wasn't used to being away from him, especially at times when I was in any kind of pain. How pathetic was that? I was almost an adult, and I'd never had to be in pain on my own. I'd never felt more childish than I did sitting on that bench in my navy blue dress helplessly crying for someone to console me.

I wasn't exactly sure what my parents planned to do when they found Justin. I didn't know how what had happened could be explained. Would they tell him he imagined it? Would they tell him the truth? No, they couldn't do that; could they?

I only remembered the Volturi very vaguely. I remembered the way they looked at me with such strange faces. They hated me, but they knew they had no reason to. It was the strangest expression—an argument between rational and emotional. For that moment, rational had won out, but if there was any kind of reason for that decision to change, I had no doubt that they would use it.

A chill shot up my spine. That could not happen. My family did not think like the Volturi; we were utterly emotional, and, just as I would do for any of them, they would all give their lives to save mine.

Another gust of wind blew, but I forced myself not to look to see if Jacob had appeared. I was determined to deal with this pain on my own. Besides, Jacob should be helping the family look for Justin. That should be everyone's main objective.

Moments passed before I noticed that I was shaking. My body was past control, and my mind was in no state to be calming it. There was such incredible fear bubbling out of me. I had never thought I would have to think of this. That was my best perk of being a freak. I never had to watch my family die. I never had to consider it a possibility. And now, because of me and my thoughtlessness, that safety was gone.

I'd never hated myself before tonight. It was terrible. I wanted to crawl out of my skin and be someone else. I wanted to stop existing.

God, how much happier everyone would be if I'd never existed! Jacob would be whoever he was before I forced him to belong to me. Mom and Dad would have a chance to be as young as they wanted. Justin would have a prom date that could hold his hand without a crisis.

I shook my head. It would have been so much better for everyone involved. I checked my phone in the absurd hope that I hadn't heard it ring. No such luck. All that was there was the picture of Jake and I making faces at the camera with my banner, "die young. stay pretty." It was something Alice had said once, jokingly, when our English teacher had asked us all to come up with our own personal philosophies. It didn't seem at all funny now.

I closed the phone, unable to see Jacob's face for more than a few seconds without that absurd pain of separation stabbing its way through my chest.

Another gust of wind that I refused to feel.

"Renesmee?"

_Ah_! My body exploded with relief. Jacob. Jacob, Jacob, Jacob!

"Jake!" I called out and anther flood of tears poured out. "I'm so sorry."

He approached slowly with an impossibly pained expression, "Stop it. None of that. It's all going to be okay."

"Did they find him?" I asked hopefully.

"Not yet," he admitted, looking the slightest bit uncertain. "He wasn't at his house, so everyone's sweeping the town. He couldn't have gotten far."

"Oh, my God," I put a hand to my mouth. "How could this have happened?"

"It'll be okay," he repeated. "I promise."

I sighed and looked up at him desperately.

"What?" he smiled. "Don't you trust me?"

I waited a long moment, staring deep into his warm eyes. Of course I trusted him. I trusted him more than I trusted myself. I cringed, "I'm still sorry."

"About what?" he shrugged. How could he be so calm?

"About…you…?" I could hear my voice get smaller, but I did not have the energy to make it any louder.

He chuckled, "You realize how odd that sounds? You're sorry about me? Carlie, I promise you. I have never been happier than you've made me tonight."

"You said you love me," I shook my head.

"Yeah," he nodded. "And I meant it."

"And I ran away," I stared at him with wide eyes. How much crap could I possibly put him through before he began to hate me?

"You were freaked," he shook his head and sat down next to me. "It's understandable."

"No, it's not!" I yelled. "How can it be okay? How are you just fine with all of this? I…I've been horrible to you."

"Yeah?" he titled his head. "You think so?"

"See!" I stood up. "You can't even tell when I'm being horrible to you, because I've unintentionally given you this…like, lobotomy that makes you totally blind to anyone else!"

He chucked, "Is that how you see it?"

"That's what it is, Jake," I shrugged, feeling incredibly frustrated with him, though I knew he was only saying what I allowed him to say.

He seemed endlessly amused, "Carlie, I love you desperately, but you are so off track."

He said it again! And so nonchalantly! How did he do that, as if it were easy?

"I know when you're being a bitch," he smirked, trying not to laugh again. "You didn't give me any type of lobotomy. I'm still me. I've always been me. I just…I want to make you happy."

"So, what?" I threw my arms up. "You, like, can't get angry at me? I can't piss you off? I can't make you hate me?"

"I doubt it," he started to get more serious.

"God, I wish I'd never existed! I do!" I yelled and heard my voice carry off into the night. "Everything would be so much better! I wish I could just go back and erase my entire life! I wish…!" I broke down, my knees giving out beneath me, and I fell in a heap of tears.

"How can you say that?" he just stared at me.

"How can you not?!" I screamed. "How can you possibly be happy like this?!"

"Like what?" he shrugged, his voice getting a bit of an edge.

"Like this," I indicated him. "Sitting here with a _freak_ while your _vampire_ family tries and track down the guy who said freak picked _over you _to go to prom with, because she was so _dumb_ as to let him—"

"Stop it!" he stood, a dangerous expression on his utterly safe face. "Don't you ever talk about yourself like that again!"

"Why not?!" I snarled and stood to meet his furious gaze. "Does that make you upset, Jacob!? You don't like hearing about what a god damned freak your gravity pulls you to?!"

"Stop it!"

"I hate myself, Jake! I hate myself!" I began to loose steam. "I can't touch people! I can never kiss anyone or give anyone a hug or even shake someone's hand! I'm a freak, Jacob! I'm a monster! How the hell do you love a monster!?"

"Renesmee!" he boomed, and I collapsed again. "I'm angry, now! Are you happy?!"

"I _can't_ be happy!" I shrieked.

"Carlie," he choked out and bent down. "I promise you that's not true." He put a strand of hair behind my ear. "I can make you happy."

"I'm sorry, Jacob," I murmured, my voice tired. "I shouldn't yell at you. You've never done anything wrong."

He smiled ever so slightly, "Of course I have; you just love me too much to notice."

I looked up at him, stunned and desperate for his words to be true.

"I promise," he wiped away the fresh tears on my cheeks and stared at me for a moment, "It'll all be okay. You'll see." His phone vibrated in his pocket, but he did not seem to notice. He just kept staring as if he hadn't heard it.

"Jake," I sighed.

"I'll call 'em back," he smiled.

"Jacob, life or death situation here," I couldn't help the smile that grew on my face. How was he always able to do that?

"All right, all right," he chuckled. "I'll answer the phone," he smiled his devious smile, "But because you want me to, Mistress." He bowed mockingly, and I pushed his shoulder playfully.

"You're not funny," I smirked.

"No, I'm freaking hilarious," he pointed to me and pulled his phone out. "'Y'ello?"

I could hear Dad on the other line, "We think we've got him."

"You think you've got him," he rolled his eyes at me. "How exactly are you unsure about that?"

"I only met him briefly, so his thoughts aren't very familiar to me," he explained. "But we think he's nearby. Is Renesmee with you?"

"Right here, Dad," I said, knowing he could hear me.

"He's not sure about what happened, and his thoughts seem to be focusing mostly on his concern for her. He feels terrible about running off and leaving her," he explained.

I cringed at that. I was making everyone feel terrible tonight.

"He's not going to tell anyone, then?" Jacob asked.

"He's not planning on it at the moment. He's just driving around, wondering if he should go back to the prom to check on her."

I sighed with relief. If I was his biggest concern, there was a good chance that none of my family would loose their lives.

"So what's your plan?" Jacob smiled at my relief.

"Well, if Renesmee thinks she's up to it, we thought if she was able to show that she was as frightened by what happened as he was but that she thinks it was some kind of electrical malfunction from the building…"

"You're kidding, right?" Jacob sneered. "Electrical malfunction?"

"Emmett's on his way over as we speak to make it look convincing," he assured him.

"I don't know if Carlie's—"

"I'm up to it, Dad," I took the phone. "No worries. Where is he?"

…………………………………………………………

It started to rain while Jacob and I ran to the high school parking lot. Dad said Justin had been parked there for a few minutes, contemplating his stupidity. I told Jacob to wait for me in the woods, and I stepped into the familiar lot.

Justin was pacing outside of his car, getting soaked. I smiled, "Hey, loser!"

He looked up, startled. "Nessie!" he came over to me. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left you there like that! I just…I panicked! That…that freaked me out a little."

"Yeah," I nodded, still smiling. "It's okay. It freaked me out, too."

"Yeah?" he wrinkled his forehead, and then shrugged. "I guess it was just some weird brain thing? Like, maybe our brains connected for a second or something."

I almost laughed. _Yeah, it was a _little_ like that_. "Huh," I shrugged. "Actually, I went back in and asked one of the security guards? He said that a current right near there got all messed up the last storm we had. He said it can do a lot of weird stuff…" I smiled, "He also said we were lucky he didn't catch us out there, because we probably could have gotten suspended."

"Suspended?" his eyes went wide.

I'd added that part to the story myself. "Yeah. And…he sort of hinted that he would really appreciate it if we didn't mention it to anyone else, 'cause of, like, liability issues? I told him that was fine."

"Oh," he nodded. "Yeah, that's cool. It was just freaking weird, you know?"

"Yeah," I smirked.

He smiled, "I'm just so glad you're okay. I was so worried. You—you are okay, right?"

"Fine," I smiled. "I mean, wet now that I had to come find you in the rain, but other than that…"

He froze for an instant, then began to take off his coat, "Oh, my God. I'm so sorry; I should have offered…" he held it out to me.

"No!" I laughed. "Please, keep your coat, Justin. It's soaked anyway." I sighed, "I guess we should get home."

"Yeah," he smiled. "Some prom, huh?"

I smirked, hearing Jacob chuckle from the woods, "Some prom."

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AN: We're getting closer to the end. I think the next one is from Jacob's POV, and then we've got our finale.

Keep being as great as you've been, and you'll hear from me soon!

Review!


	11. Sometimes It's Hard Being This Hot

AN: Hey, guys, Second to last chapter! Gah!

As you can hopefully tell from the title, we are back in Jacob's POV for one last stopoff before Nessie ends the story.

This one's a little sad, actually, so get your tissues ready if your feeling vulnerable or weepy.

Enjoy…

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"Jacob," she whispered, barely half conscious and placed her hand gently on my cheek. She showed me the chaos of her thoughts—images of the prom and me and Justin and…her hair clip?

I smiled and took her hand in mine, "Not tonight, Carlie. Let's keep those to ourselves."

She mumbled something unintelligible and nuzzled her face deeper into the crux of my neck. As soon as she'd gotten home, she ran upstairs and changed out of her dress and into a pair of gray sweatpants and a blue t-shirt. Then, she'd come to find me in my room and curled up in a ball in my lap. She hadn't said a word—just laid her tired head on my shoulder and closed her eyes.

It had been quite a long time since she'd slept like that—not for a few months, since we'd gotten Charlie's diagnosis. And before that…not since before she'd gone to public school—when she was still innocent enough to find nothing strange in it.

"She's exhausted," Bella smiled, sitting next to me on my bed, and brushed Carlie's cheek.

"Quite a night," I nodded gently, careful not to wake her.

"Yeah," she agreed, turning her gaze to me. I met her eyes and found them kind, understanding. I tried to smile, but I was sure it looked sad. "Are you all right, Jake? Tonight didn't go exactly how—"

"I'm fine," I shrugged. "I didn't have any expectations. Really, tonight was one of the better nights of my life."

She narrowed her eyes, "Then why with the pouting?"

I took a deep breath, "I don't know. I guess I'm just…insecure? I don't know what she's gonna do now. I think I might of scared her."

Bella scoffed, "She's not easily scared."

I smiled, "No. Not by monsters or vampires or werewolves…but…she's never really been faced with…well, this."

She shook her head, "But you said she…well, she wasn't against it."

"Yeah, she wasn't…" I sighed. "But I don't think she's so sure now. She doesn't know what she wants."

She laughed, "What teenager does?"

"Right," I scoffed. "But, see, the thing is…when she doesn't know what she wants…I get all…"

"Insecure?" she finished for me.

"Insecure," I smiled.

She ran a hand through her hair and cast her gaze downwards, "I feel like I should apologize for that."

"For my insecurity?" I wrinkled my brow, then smirked, "Yeah, okay. I can see that. Go ahead."

She shot me a playful glare, and I winked back at her. Smiling, she shook her head, "I'm sorry for making you so insecure, Jacob. Please, if there's anything I can do to soften the blow—"

I laughed, "You should never promise a man 'anything', Bella. It's hard for us to resist an offer like that."

She smirked, "Jacob Black, did you just refer to yourself as a _man_? I'm shocked."

I stuck my chin out, "Hey, I'm older than _you_, remember?"

She thought for a moment, staring out in front of her, "Ah, yes. Something about dog years, right?"

"That's it," I smiled.

She let out a cough of a laugh, "A little ironic, now."

"Huh," I smirked, "Guess so."

I knew she didn't really remember, at least not as clearly as I did. She barely remembered the things she'd wanted too. She asked Edward to tell her about them all the time—the meadow, her lullaby, the plane ride from Italy, the wedding, the, er, honeymoon…

She didn't work very hard to remember much else, especially that period when Edward was absent from her life. It wasn't that I blamed her; if I could choose to forget the worst parts of my life, I probably would. It was just a little strange, almost like having Alzheimer's patient as a best friend. She didn't remember the little things—inside jokes, random moments—which made us as close as we were. She thought she did, as her proud smile proved. Though, of course, six years ago, she would have been able to argue with me about the outcome of our little game. I think she ended up being older than me by a year and two weeks, but she didn't remember.

"You're still upset?" she sighed, not really asking.

"It's just…" I shrugged, "I don't like waiting. I don't like not knowing who she'll chose."

"She'd be an idiot to chose anyone else, Jacob," Bella shook her head. "Come on, give me one reason why she would pick someone over you."

_You did._

"See?" she smiled. "You can't even think of one."

"Bells," I sighed. "I wouldn't be able to blame her for picking someone more…I don't know…normal?"

"Oh," she sighed, then shook her head, "No. She won't do that."

"So sure?"

"Definitely. She'll pick the freak," she nodded. "She has to; she's my kid."

I chuckled gently and smirked, "My, how the tables have turned."

She laughed too, "Yeah, now you're the older, dangerous, sexy option. How's it feel?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I've _always_ been dangerous and sexy," I sneered, jokingly.

She chuckled, putting her hand on my free shoulder. I didn't shy away from it. I was used to the cold by now.

"So now that you're old?" Edward's voice called out softly from the doorway.

I scoffed, "Hypocrite, much?"

He smiled and walked towards us on the bed. Bella smiled up at him, "Hey, you."

"Hello," he bent down to kiss her, and then smiled at me. "Evening, Jacob."

"Hey," I gave him one swift nod.

"How is our Nessie doing after such a night?" he smiled to Carlie, sleeping in my arms.

"Just tired," I whispered, watching her breathe in and out. "And probably a little confused."

He nodded; understanding—seeing all the images she'd tried to put in my head. "Are you going to stay with her tonight, Jake?"

I shrugged, "Just in case she wakes up and needs something."

Bella smiled at me and reached over to take Edward's hand, "Did you talk to Carlisle?"

His gaze turned into a painful grimace, "I did. He's…I'm afraid he isn't as hopeful as we'd like."

Bella inhaled quickly, afraid of that answer. Charlie had not been doing well in the last few months, and it was getting harder and harder to keep that truth from Carlie.

"Yes," Edward looked to me. "Perhaps it's time we came clean with her?"

"Not after tonight," Bella shook her head, then more quietly, "Not until we're sure."

"Bells," I sighed, hating how much it hurt her to watch Charlie suffer. "He hasn't seen his granddaughter in months. You know that's not fair—not for either of them."

She was quiet for a long moment, then looked at me directly, pain evident in her golden eyes, "If you'd seen him…"

"It's all right," Edward whispered to her, kneeling by the bed.

"Edward, she deserves to say good—" I began to say.

"Jacob," he held a hand up. "Perhaps it would bring Charlie's spirits up to see Renesmee?" he turned gently to Bella.

"Maybe," she sighed. "Does it have to be right away?"

"Why put it off?" I shrugged.

"Are you trying to be funny?" she turned to me, anger brewing under her tone. "She just had a very trying night, and now she has this decision to make and—"

"Bella," Edward stood again, and placed a hand on her cheek, "Renesmee is all right. She's a very smart girl. I have every confidence she can digest all that has happened tonight without too much trauma." He smirked, "And you know how happy it would make Charlie to see her."

They looked at each other for a long time, debating silently with mere stares. It was enviable. Quietly, Bella cast her gaze downward, "Fine. She'll go tomorrow…_if_ she wants to."

Edward smiled and kissed her, "Agreed."

"Agreed," I nodded, and then shrugged, "It'll be okay, Bells."

"Yeah," she sighed, not at all believing me. She looked just like my Bella when she was sad. "Can we…?" she whispered to Edward, who brushed a finger along her cheek and nodded.

"Sleep well, Jacob," he said, pulling Bella up to him and letting her head fall on his chest. I gave a weak smile and watched them leave. Their room was two over from mine, on the other side of Carlie's, so it wasn't difficult to hear them, still.

Bella started crying almost immediately after Edward closed the door behind them. It was such a painful sound, and even more painful that there were no tears streaming down her face. It was an odd, paralyzing disability—not to be able to produce tears. Like some strange torture—she had the emotion but could not show it. Frustrating, that was it. That was the word.

I held Carlie closer to me, listening to her parents. They didn't speak to each other, at least not that I could hear. Bella just cried, and Edward held her close to him. He was murmuring something that I couldn't quite understand. It was soft and gentle and, above all, calm. That still shocked me about Edward; he was almost always calm. I'd never really seen him loose his temper. Sure, I'd seen him totally crazy and willing to pimp his wife out to me, but he wasn't angry. I'd never seen him angry. It was incredible.

"I'm not ready, Edward," Bella whispered. "I can't let go."

"Shh," he crooned. "I know, love. I know."

He called her that—love. He did it a lot. It was the strangest thing, but I could never put my finger on why. No one else in the family did that—called each other love. They loved each other; I knew that, but no one used it instead of their intended's name. It didn't fall easily off the tongue. I didn't think I would be able to say it without a little laugh—it just sounded so…proper. I felt like it would sound like I was mocking someone if I tried it.

"Edward," she lowered her voice, "What if I forget?" She cried again. "What if I can't remember…?"

"You'll remember," Edward assured her. "I'll remind you if you need it. I won't let you forget."

"Man," I whispered to no one, holding Carlie closer. Bella was worried about forgetting her own father. I mean, she would never forget him completely, but she would forget the human memories. She would forget cooking dinner for him and his face as he gave her away.

"I'm so scared," she sighed heavily before another sob.

"My Bella," he murmured softly. "I know it's hard, and I know that it hurts you, and I wish more than anything that I could make that pain go away, but I can't help you beat this. We just have to push through it, all right?"

I'd lived for a while in the company of functional romantic relationships, and they all had their own little quirks—their secrets to keeping their relationships stable.

Blondie and Emmett had their privacy. No outside observer would pair their public personas, but when they were alone, their connection was clear as day.

Carlisle and Esme had their understanding. Without speaking or even glancing at each other, they knew what each other was thinking.

Alice and Jasper had their magic—their unbreakable bond. There was such energy between them; it was so real, so tangible.

And Bella and Edward…well, they had it all.

So that left me and my sleeping imprintee. What did we have?

I sighed against her, and she groaned and wrapped her arms around my waist. I guess we had a friendship; that was more than any of the others had before their romances. And that was good—you were supposed to be friends first. I'd heard that before. Though, I couldn't remember why and hoped that it was more than a contingency plan for when the relationship ended.

"Things have to change, Bella," Edward sighed, so gently. "And I know it's easy to forget about change when so much seems to stay the same, but…we have to remember that change is happening all the time."

"Okay," she whispered.

"And you know I'm always here," he said.

"I know," she nodded. "And in a hundred years, when all of this is over…you'll still be here?"

"Forever, Bella," he promised.

I had always been a little jealous of Edward. It was no secret. Most guys were jealous of Edward for one reason or another. But as the years past, I began to envy him for entirely different reasons than I had previously. Where before I had envied him for his money or his looks or his significant other—now I was learning what his real talent was—he could emote.

Okay, yeah, I emote. I know that. But, he has this way of being so completely honest about what he's feeling. He can tell Bella he loves her and talk about the next hundred years and be totally confident that all he is saying is totally true.

When I try to tell someone I love them, I make a joke. Or when I don't make a joke, they run away. I'd never been entirely comfortable with real emotion like he was. It was admirable.

"I'll be here, too, Carlie," I whispered, trying the words out while she slept, and she seemed to smile a little. I kissed her temple, "Forever."

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AN: All right, sports fans….one more chapter to go…

Whoever reviews the _best_ gets a gold medal!


	12. Deserving

AN: Ah, the last chapter. Thanks for sticking with this story. I hope some of you have found the same compassion for Nessie that I found, and please tell your friends who are condemning Breaking Dawn and Nessie to hop on over and read this—maybe it will help them see that all is not lost…?

Anywho, it's been fun…

Please, enjoy…

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A few days before prom, we got back our tests on _Persepolis_. I got an A and put it away, never to think of the story again. But no one writes something so that it will be put away and never thought of again, so God must cook up punishments for those who do not think about what they've read. God gives people who discard Lolita a father who talks to people who are not there. He gives people who feel like Dubliners is a glorified pity party for the Irish rain on their wedding day. He gives girls who give little thought to the horrors of the Islamic Revolution grandfathers with cancer.

Marjane, the girl in the book, lost her grandfather to Islamic purists who put him in jail and let his health deteriorate, because they felt like he was not worthy of life. I had not thought about it until I saw Grandpa's face.

He'd looked so happy to see me—so painfully happy. He'd wanted to get up to give me a hug, but Sue would not let him, so I hugged him. He was sitting in a recliner with a blanket in his lap, like an old man. He'd lost his hair, but wore a Mariner's cap to cover it. I wanted to cry from the second I saw him.

"Come on in, kid, sit down," he smiled and indicated the couch across from him. "Geez, I feel like it's been forever since I saw you. Still growing? You look taller?"

"Two more inches, I think," I shrugged, trying to bring my voice up to its normal volume. If he could be happy, then I had no reason not to be.

"My God," he shook his head, smiling. "You know you look more and more like Bells everyday?"

Something in me filled with warmth as he said that. I had heard it before. I had heard it from almost anyone who knew both my mother and I, but from him…it seemed…different. He was the only one who said 'Bella' and not 'your mother'. He was the only one who still saw her as teenager. It was so…sweet. "Thanks, Grandpa," I smiled weakly.

He shrugged, "I'm sorry, hon. I'm sure everyone tells you that. You gotta be tired of hearing it."

"No," I whispered. "Not from you."

"What was that?" he tried to lean forward. "I'm sorry, hon. I couldn't hear you—old age, you know?"

"It was nothing," I shrugged.

"You sure?" he smirked. "Not keeping secrets from your old Grandpa, are you?"

"No," I smiled. "No secrets."

"Good," he chuckled lightly. "So, Nessie. How have you been these last…what's it been? Months?"

"Yeah," I cringed inwardly. My parents had kept me from him for months—something I was sure most teenage girls would be angry about, but I understood. He was my Grandpa, but he was my mother's Dad. How could I blame her for wanting to pretend everything was okay? "It's been…I don't know…I'm boring."

He laughed, "Now, that's not true. How could it possibly be true?"

"Really," I shrugged. "I go to school. I come home. I read."

"How 'bout boys?" he smirked. "Anyone I need to be worried about?"

"Not really," I titled my head a little to the side, unsure if he knew about Jacob.

"What does that mean? Is there a boy?"

I gave a little smile and folded my arms across my chest, "He's not a _boy_."

"Ugh," he threw his head back with mock exasperation—at least, I hoped it was mock exasperation. "Don't tell me he's a century years old vampire. I don't know if I could handle that again."

"No," I laughed. "No. He's not a vampire at all."

"Whew, good," he pretended to wipe sweat off his brow. "And you like him?"

I paused for a long moment. Jacob and I had not talked extensively since prom. He'd said, "Good morning", and I'd said, "Good morning." Neither of us mentioned his imprinting—probably because I didn't want to discuss it--probably because I couldn't. "I like him," I nodded to Grandpa.

"And he treats you good?"

"Yeah," I smiled. "He treats me very well."

"Good. That's all that matters," he nodded. "Just make sure it stays that way."

"Okay."

"I mean it," he pointed to me. "Don't you dare let any boy—man, whatever you wanna call 'em—don't you let them make you think you're happy when you're not. Don't let him treat you bad. You promise me?"

"Grandpa," I sighed.

"No, I mean it. I may not be around to make sure you're treated good. And I know you've got your parents and Carlisle and Esme, but…what they say won't mean a damn thing if you don't know it yourself."

I could barely speak. That was the first time he'd acknowledged his illness. Instantly, I was dejected again.

"You gotta promise me, kid," he nodded slowly.

"I—I promise," I whispered, forgetting what I was promising. It didn't matter. You did what your dying Grandpa asked you to do—it was that simple.

"Good," he smiled. "You're such a good kid, Nessie." I could smell tear forming in his eyes—the salt was potent. "You're gonna be okay."

I stayed for a little over an hour. We talked about school and the family and next year's Presidential election, which would be the first one I could vote in—at least, that's what my forged birth certificate would say.

My heart stopped when he leaned in and smirked, "I guess you should be getting home. Your parents will worry."

I couldn't speak. Was this the last time I would see him? How could I let it end? How could I walk out the front door and get in my car and leave my Grandpa behind?

"Now, I don't have any big, fancy life lessons I can give you," he shook his head when I didn't say anything. "But I can tell you this: don't waste your life, Nessie—and I know that yours will be longer than most people's, but…still, you never know, right? So, don't waste it. I didn't. And I'm so happy I didn't. Best thing I ever did. And don't you go feeling sorry for me. I've had a better life than a lot of people."

I started crying when he said 'didn't'—past tense.

He started to tear up, too, "Aw, now, don't do that." I tried to stop, to wipe my tears away, but they kept coming; I could not hold them. He gave me a pained expression and looked towards the kitchen where Sue was cooking dinner. Then, he pushed himself up with an incredible amount of force and walked unsteadily over to me. His arms around me were so valuable—like the story of a Holocaust survivor—I had to take it now, because soon no one would be able to give it to me and it would be lost forever. I cried more into his shoulder, and he held me tighter, "Man, I'm going to miss you, kid."

Sue told me I should leave to let him rest a few minutes after that. I was still crying when I exited the front door and got into my BMW. I didn't drive home. I couldn't. It was like I was lost—I didn't want to know the way back. And so I drove down roads I'd always passed before. I drove through neighborhoods I'd never seen but had always been there.

I parked my car at an Acme and ran towards home, still moving in circles, trying to get lost. It took me almost three hours to get tired, and I looked around to see where my feet had taken me. I smiled—I was at the base of the tallest tree in Aberdeen.

Without hesitation, I jumped up into the branches I knew so well. I breathed in the now evening air with a smile. I was feeling a little better and rather philosophical.

Dying was such a terrible thing to witness, and, until I'd spoken with Grandpa, it had seemed like a worse thing to experience. However, he seemed to be in better spirits than I was. He had laughed and smiled and told me not to feel sorry for him—he was happy.

I guess imminent death could also be used as the ultimate time for reflection. It gave one time to analyze all the decisions they'd made in life. It gave them a chance to remember all the things they had done. Plus, it gave them an excuse to do things that they probably never would have gotten around to otherwise.

If I were told I was going to die tomorrow, I would spend the day jumping out of planes and drinking to access and forgiving everyone for everything they'd ever done that was less than wonderful. I would forgive myself, too. I would have to.

"Did I summon you?" I croaked out, my voice dry from tears.

"Yeah," Jacob smiled, pulling himself up into the tree. "And it was pretty inconvenient, too. I was in the middle of something very important."

"Gossip Girl?" I smirked.

"Deal or No Deal," I pointed to me as he sat. "It was interesting. I'm working on this whole theory that Howie Mandel holds the key to the science vs. religion debate inside that bulbous head of his."

"Sounds fascinating," I smiled.

"It is," he nodded, then fell silent for a moment, "You okay, Carlie?"

I took a deep breath, "I think so. You all need to start telling me things every now and then."

He smiled, "Agreed. Again, not my fault, but…agreed." I gave him a little glare, and then turned back to look at the town in the evening's glow.

"I think I've conquered my fear of death," I told him.

"Fear of death? Carlie, hon, you're immortal," he smirked.

"Don't be smart," I said, my voice still crackling. "I'll start crying, and you'll feel terrible."

He laughed lightly, "Okay, sorry. That sounds pretty impressive. Usually people never conquer that type of fear."

"I think it's all about your perspective," I nodded.

"Like, glass half full type of thing?"

"Yeah, sort of. Like…just because someone doesn't live that long, it doesn't mean they didn't live a full life, you know? I mean, as long as they're happy, then it's…this sounds horrible, but…if you're happy, then it's okay to die," I pulled my shoulders in, afraid how that would sound.

"Hmm," he nodded. "I get that…and it doesn't sound so horrible. It sounds nice. I mean, you wouldn't want to die when you're sad, right? That'd just be really depressing. You'd have to write bad poetry about the injustice of it all. Ugh," he made a face, and I laughed lightly.

We waited a few more moments and the silence was heavier than it ever had been before. There had never been any awkwardness in my relationship with Jacob until this instant.

He laughed, "I guess we should talk."

"We are talking," I shot.

"Carlie," he sighed.

I took a deep breath and looked out to the town afraid to meet his face, "I don't know what to say."

"That's okay," he shrugged. "Just say how you feel. There isn't a wrong answer."

"Yes, there is," I whispered.

"It's not wrong," he whispered too, "It's just not exactly the one I'm hoping for, but if that's what you decide…"

"Jake," I turned to him. "I…I'm not completely against the idea of…you know, feeling the same way about you that you feel about me."

He took a moment to digest my odd wording, and then nodded, "Okay."

"Okay," I nodded. "But…I mean…I don't know…I'm—"

"It's okay, Carlie," he smirked. "Just say whatever you need to. I'll try and make sense of it."

"I think I'm in love with you, Jacob," I blurt out, not knowing what else there was for me to say.

"Oh," he smiled.

"No!" I held up a hand. "Don't do that. Don't get all excited. I…I think I do, but I don't know. I mean, Jake…I'm six years old. I…I don't know what love is, and I don't want to tell you I'm in love when I'm not sure, so….please, don't get all…happy…"

He laughed, "Okay. I won't be happy; I promise."

"No!" I cried out. "No! I didn't mean that. By all means, be happy! I want you to be happy, it's just…I don't know yet."

"You said that," he nodded.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered.

"Don't be," he shook his head, still smiling. "Look, Carlie, everything you just said makes perfect sense, and I'm not in any rush to move forward with anything. As long as you're happy; I'm happy."

"Well, I'm not happy unless you're happy," I shook my head.

"Well, _I'm_ not happy unless _you're_ happy," he grinned.

"So then, I guess we should just be happy, then," I managed a smile. "But how can that possibly be fair for you to wait for me?"

"It's okay Carlie," he reached out his arm, and I laid my head against his shoulder. "Your dad had to wait a century for Bella to come around. I'm willing to wait forever for you."

I sighed, feeling the weight of that word—forever. "That's a long time."

He smiled, "You're worth it, kid."

I felt tears in my eyes but laughed, "Sexy nickname."

Jacob pulled back the slightest bit to look me in the eye, "You like Loch Ness better?"

I laughed outright and pulled him back, so I could lie on his shoulder again, "It has a certain elegance to it."

He shook his head and kissed my temple, "I'll call you whatever you want, Renesmee."

I breathed in his warm, calming scent and smiled, "Jake?"

"Yeah," he barely whispered.

I stared out over the town and could feel every heart beating with mine. There was something in this that was so right—so perfect, and I wondered what I'd ever done to deserve something so beautiful. I whispered to him, not wanting to disturb the moment, "I don't think you'll have to wait forever."

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Playlist (cause I listen to music when I write, too):

(some of the songs on here I think fit really well into the story, others just make me think of Nessie for no sane person reason, but I hope you enjoy them)

Vampire by Antsy Pants

Paper Planes by MIA

You Get Me by Michelle Branch

Happy by Natasha Bedingfield

More Adventurous by Rilo Kiley

Chariot by Gavin DeGraw

Guilty Pleasure by Cobra Starship

Song in my Head by Sherwood

Spiders by Lovedrug

20 Years of Snow by Regina Spektor

Silver Lining by Rilo Kiley

I Need You by Dan Bern

Shine On by Jet

Deserving Song by Lori McKenna (this song explains who Nessie is in my head, please give it a listen; it's so pretty)

Thus endith my tale. You all have been so fantastic. I love Twilight fans. If you liked this story, please check out my other Twilight pieces and drop me some reviews for them too! Thanks again for being so awesome!

-LovelyTomorrow


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